Another adoption story...

Two weeks ago today we were given information about children who need a home. I can't go into specifics but they are gorgeous.
We realize that adopted children who are a bit older than newborn very very often have some emotional needs that need to be addressed, dealt with, and usually need to have some help getting through them.
We fell in love with these children immediately upon seeing their pictures. (We still haven't met them yet.) But being a Mother who desperately wants more children, I was afraid I was putting my heart before God's direction. So I prayed. And prayed. And prayed.
Finally I pleaded with God, asking Him to show me/us without a doubt that this was HIS will in our lives...and in the lives of these precious little children.
I asked Him to show me in the Bible without a doubt. Then I asked Him to do something for ME...this may sound silly, juvenile, for someone who has been a Christian for soooo many years, but I asked Him to allow me to open my Bible, anywhere it opens to, and I will start reading 10 chapters. Within those 10 chapters, I asked Him to show me the words, "Adoption, Orphan, or Fatherless". Then I told the Lord that if He doesn't show me those words, I will close the Bible and accept that these little ones are not the ones He has for us. (Immediately I started trying to figure out how I could get out of that last part of the prayer...because I really had fallen hard for these little children!!! But I didn't "weasel" out of the prayer. I knew that I would just not answer the email back if I didn't find those words. And a lump rose in my throat.)

I removed all the papers and bookmarks from my Bible and prayed again. Then I closed my eyes and opened the Bible....to Romans 8. I started reading there in verse 1. When I got to verse 15, I literally felt like I had been struck by lightening. It scared me to pieces! Romans 8:15 says, "For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the spirit of ADOPTION, whereby we cry ABBA FATHER." There it was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I continued reading. What else did He have for me in those chapters? Three times in the first 45 verses or so it says "ADOPTION"!!
I ran and showed my husband...Mr. Rational. He was fairly impressed. (as impressed as irrational thinking can impress him, that is....)
But I was at peace with the decision to move forward and started telling people about my experience.

Someone told me "Yeah, but ADOPTION is a pretty common theme throughout the Bible."

Oh, really???? I thought perhaps she was right. Do you know that the word adoption is mentioned only 5 times throughout the Bible? Three of those times were in the first 45 verses I read.

I've heard, throughout my whole Christian life, about people who say they open the Bible and put their finger on a verse and that's their answer. I've wondered about the wisdom of people who do that. (ok....yeah, I've done that myself a time or two.....) But I usually have done that out of my impatience. I want an answer RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
I honestly don't feel this way about our situation. We had to make a decision right away and we wanted the Lord's leading in this. I don't ever ever want there to be a time .... if we get these children...that we think, "Wow...this is hard. Maybe we weren't supposed to have done this."

I don't think we will feel that way. Oh, yes, I'm sure that there will be hard times. There are always hard times. Even with biological children who haven't been through what these children will have been through, I have UPON OCCASION thought..."Ewwww....sometimes I don't like teenagers...."

So it is now out of our hands, into the hands of the people handling the little ones' situation...and into the very capable Hands of our Lord...who loves them even more than we already do.

HIS WILL BE DONE......(but I hope it's with us!!! ;) )

Adoption prayers....

We are still praying and waiting for news about two little ones we are hoping to adopt. There is a lot to be considered but we know that God's hand is in all things in our lives. That is quite a comfort. In times that we are unsure or questioning ourselves, we can turn to Him and ask what is His will. If we truly feel that God is directing us, then we know that He is in charge. Thank goodness!! Everytime I'm in charge, I mess things up!
Keep us in your prayers, if you think about it. Also, keep those little ones in your prayers. It has to be so incredibly sad to not have a mommy or daddy to turn to and to get comfort from. How scary.
I think we need each other....;)

Angie's Gift

When Roger and I married 4 1/2 years ago, I was thrilled to gain a wonderful mother in law. I was excited to have this steadfast Christian prayer warrior in my family and often in my home. I envisioned lots of times of prayer and chats with her as I became her daughter in law. Unfortunately, that was not to happen. We married in June and dear Angie went to heaven the following September.

She was in her 80's...she had her twins, Roger and Ronda, in her 40's. I knew it was not going to be for a long time that I would have her influence in my life, but I certainly took it hard losing her so soon after just getting to "have" her.

One of the hardest things I have thought about is trying to tell the precious child/children that the Lord eventually allows us to adopt about their grandma. I want them to feel that she is a part of them as well and how very very much she would have loved them! I am very fortunate to still have my crazy and funny parents to share with my little ones but I really wish that Angie could be here to love and nurture them as well. What a blessing she would be to them, as she was to us.

On Saturday, I was working on our bedroom. I finally put a closet pole in a niche in our room, creating a temporary closet until we build on to our home. I started sorting through the stacks of things we have in our bedroom and I came across a long flat box. I opened it up and was delighted to find what was within.

Angie had been a Sunday School teacher of young children for many many years. I think that she had to have been very much involved with little ones throughout all of my husband's life. What I didn't know is that she had kept her "visuals" that she had created during those years. In an age where people seem to think that children need electronics and gadgets to learn from, I was so happy to find her beautifully created pictures that she had used in teaching her Sunday School children all those years. There were hand drawn, colored pictures of Jesus, churches, missionary and Bible stories and open Bibles with verses written in them.

I became very excited after realizing that I had been searching the Internet for teaching aids to use when we are finally able to adopt little ones. How absolutely wonderful that I will be able to teach our little ones about the Lord, all lovingly created and drawn by their Grandma's gifted hand!

So, while it's true that Grandma Angie won't be here to physically love these children, she has left an amazing legacy. Not only did she rear a wonderful adoptive Daddy for these little children, she left her love and dedication to Biblical things to teach her adopted grandchildren about our dear Lord...and that's a precious precious gift.

Resting in Him

For the last few weeks I have been waking up at about 4 or 4:30 every morning burdened for our adopted child/children, all along not having a clue who he or she or they are. I have prayed and prayed for them...or him...or her...until I finally am able to drift off to sleep. Then the alarm clock sounds at 6. Sounds about right, doesn't it?

But last night, during my sleepless hour or so, I realized that I was beginning to really enjoy that time with my Lord. I pour out my heart to Him, my concerns, my pain, my worries...and He listens. I finally place it all in His capable hands and find rest.

I wake up with my soul at peace knowing that His will will be done. VERY often, I wake up with a refrain from a Christian song running through my head. What a blessing that is when I know that the Lord has been taking care of me while I sleep, comforting me and giving me the needed rest. How often have we looked in on our children while they slept, taking care of their every need, coaxing disheveled locks of soft hair from their foreheads, covering them up for the 100th time, adjusting their little arms into a more comfortable position, retrieving lost "Bear Bears" that have slipped to the floor.

What does He think when He sees His Dear Ones sleeping? He says to us, "I will keep thee in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Me." Isaih 26:3 (Paraphrased by me!)

We love and cherish our children...how much more capable is our Heavenly Father to take care of us...AND them...even before they are placed in our homes!

Blessings,
Beth

Signs of Winter...

Looking out our kitchen window I see signs of winter. Central Indiana has had two mornings of thick frost on our windows and ground. The soybean and corn fields are now bare...but still beautiful. As a child, I loved to wander our farm fields just after harvest. Often we picked up ears of corn that the harvester missed. We would clean all the kernels off the cobs to help feed our animals. In the wintertime, I would iceskate on the ice left in the rows where the corn had once stood. In the late fall or winter, I would gather dried weeds to arrange and decorate our home.

I'm looking forward to wandering in the woods behind our house...now almost completely bare of their leaves. It seems all new to me now that the trees look different.

Winter makes some people sad...but not me. True, I hate filling up my gas tank when its so cold that your nose freezes. I really hate driving (or having my loved ones drive) in bad weather, but I truly love playing in the snow with the kids. I have always loved building snow men, snow forts and writing "I love you!" in the traces of snow on my husband's car. The approaching holiday season makes me happy! I love buying people presents, wrapping them beautifully and having them appear under the tree!

When my children were younger, we had HUGE stockings that "Santa" filled. That way, there was a limit on what "he" could bring. He brought toys that would fit in the stockings, dolls, stuffed animals, legos, etc. We are not sure how we are going to handle "Santa" with any adopted child. Our true focus has always been on Jesus and the last few years even more so.
We have more Nativity scenes than we know what to do with!

How have YOU handled Christmas... with or without Santa? Roger didn't have "Santa" come when his children were younger...in my home, we did. We are not arguing about this, I think either way would be fine. In this and in all things, we want to do the right thing in the eyes of God!

Blessings,
Beth

Adoption Prayer Request

Yesterday I received news of an adoption option. (waxing poetic...) I can't really give specifics but we are exploring this with great anticipation and lots and lots of prayers!

I think knowing God's will is sometimes so very difficult. I want to do HIS will, not BETH'S will....but what is it?? I've been searching the Scriptures and Roger and I have both prayed and made a decision. However,the ultimate decision is not in our hands...but God's, right?

Prayers, please!!!!!

When I hear about dear ladies whose hearts are breaking because they don't have a child, now I ALMOST understand how they feel. I, of course, have been blessed to be able to have a child, so I am sure I don't understand the depth of sadness they experience. But this longing to hold a little one again and call him or her my son or daughter is pretty deep in itself. It seems like a long long journey to adopt. I know that I will surely think that it has been worth it when we finally are able to go and bring our child home.

Maybe it will help when we are finally matched with a child...but then again, the longing will be even more extreme when we can actually see the child's precious face and know that he or she is without us...and that we desperately need each other.

I think about the women in the Bible who prayed and prayed for children...of Hannah, of Sarah, or Elizabeth. What sweet names they would make for the little girl I am desiring. Hannah Grace, Sarah Grace, Elizabeth Grace.....precious!

Or Nathaniel Allen........No question about his name. (We intend to incorporate the African name into the name as well....)

Sunday I heard about a two year old little African American boy who was just taken from his mother because of her meth addiction and my heart went out to him. I think it is very unlikely that we would be able to take him in...but we are making some inquiries. Currently, a friend of mine is trying to obtain temporary custody. I am praying earnestly for that to happen. Of course, it would be a long and difficult road to actually try to legally adopt him. Possibly full of heartaches for us all. But this woman has already lost custody of two other children earlier in her life because of drugs. This little guy needs a home but she still has her parental rights currently. I'm not sure what it would do to our African adoption but we really want to have two children!
Roger would be soooooo thrilled to have a little boy!!

I'm just asking for God's leading in this and in all things. He is good. (Confusing to me sometimes but very very good!!)
Blessings to you all,
Beth