A little bit of "cohesion"...

Today I was quizzing Rebecca in preparation for her Science test. A word she had to define was "cohesion."
The definition in her book said it is "The phenomenon that occurs when individual molecules are so strongly attracted to each other that they tend to stay together, even when exposed to tension."
"Wow!" I thought. "That sounds just like our marriage!"
I decided that it would be a wonderful object lesson for Becca...and me.

"It's just like Roger and I are the molecules and we love each other so much that we will stay together even when we are exposed to tension."

We have lots of tension sometimes in our home. I'm sure most families do but it is how we handle the tension that determines how well we are "cohesive." (THAT was Roger's word for ME tonight when I told him about our science lesson today. Ummm...I had to look it up after he went upstairs just to make sure I understood what it meant...)

He said, "Now that we have had cohesion we are cohesive." (Well integrated or unified.)

Most of the time we ARE unified. It hasn't been easy with two separate families living in one house. It is easier NOT to be unified because it takes WORK for our marriage to be COHESIVE. (I like that word...I think I'll use it more often...!!!) We could just go on our selfish lazy way and not make the effort it takes to be successful!

The thing that makes us more COHESIVE....if I dare call it a "thing"... is Jesus Christ. We are led and guided by the Holy Spirit and He is the One leading our marriage. God is the Foundation on which our marriage is built. After that is the love, companionship, friendship, and commitment that we share.

This is something that I did not have when I was married before and I am so grateful to have God as the focal point of our marriage...although it isn't perfect, God is, and we strive to better ourselves every day!


Blessings to you all!
Have a lovely day!
Beth

A Little "Slice" of Our Lives....

Isn't this just the cutest thing EVER?? When I went downstairs one morning, I found this piece of cake on a pretty glass dish. We had decorated a HUGE cake for an anniversary reception for the company Roger works for and he had decided to take the rest of the left over cake to the office to share. He put a few pieces aside for us for supper but I found this extra special one on our island with a note in frosting. I couldn't "have my cake and eat it too" so I decided I'd do the next best thing and take a picture THEN I could EAT it! If you can't quite make out his lettering...it says "Beth's piece cuz I love her" Isn't that sweet? (Literally...it was very sweet....) How romantic!!

Becca, Gideon, Jennie and I took a day and drove to Anderson, Indiana where there is a nice State Park called "Mounds State Park." It has all these Native American built "mounds" all over the place where they most likely built them even before the time of Christ for religious or seasonal observances. To be honest, the kids weren't terribly impressed because to them they just looked like small shaped hills. But when I explained to them that they knew the seasons and the placement of the stars and that the mounds lined up with certain stars during certain times and that they had primitive tools to use to create those "scientific and religious" mounds, they were a "little" more impressed. However, the area was just gorgeous and it was a perfect fall day!

Gideon and Becca did NOT want to cooperate with getting a good picture of them! BUT, more importantly, they did cooperate behavior-wise and we had a great day!!

Gideon, Jennie and "Precious" playing in the river. Precious loves to get in the water as long as it isn't up over her chest or a BATH. She hates baths!!

Earlier in the week Becca and I took little grandson Brody to a country market where we bought some Golden Delicious apples and some cornstalks to decorate our house. Brody is a wonderful little guy!

We got eighth grader Becca's first grades for the period last week. For those of you who don't know, she is going to a one day a week "school." (It can't REALLY be called a school but it is a homeschool organized tutelage and they take a "classical" approach to education.) There is a LOT of schoolwork and she is busy almost every minute of the day. I really like it and so does she but we're trying to figure out how to whittle it down a little bit so that we can still enjoy a free moment or two during the day to spend together baking, sewing, etc. (The things that we love to do together!)

Anyway, her grades are good and I'm so delighted that I don't have to keep track of all her grades anymore!! I wasn't sure how to do that so I was very excited to show up at her open house and to find out that they already had them compiled for me! (I have to keep her records but they will give me her grades!! Woo Hoo!!)

We're still working on getting our adoption papers all filled out. It's a big step...kind of scary but we both feel that God is leading us this direction. Hopefully in a year or two we will have a little girl from Lesotho, Africa. A new friend that I have made at Becca's "school" has adopted a little girl from Africa as well but she is from the Congo. She is supposed to be travelling on FRIDAY to come home and join her family!

That brings tears to my eyes because I know that somewhere in Africa is a little girl who belongs to me. (or WILL belong to me.) She may not even be born yet and maybe her birth mother is doubting whether or not she should carry this baby. But she is mine and her middle name is Grace. (We may decide to keep her first name to honor her heritage and not to confuse her if she is an older child when she comes home to us. But we have decided on Grace for a very likely middle name!) It's so strange to be completely in love with someone I don't even know anything about yet, isn't it?? She has more clothes already than any little girl I know! Most of them are gorgeous little dresses and jumpers that I have purchased from Goodwill......of course! They look brand new! I have them in all sizes from 2T up to some size 8's. I'm not getting my hopes up to adopt a baby under 2 years old. I'm praying that God will give us the child He wants us to have! I even have bins full of shoes...Stride Rite, etc....things that are almost brand new but that we most likely won't be able to afford once we get her home! She's going to look like a wealthy little girl...who's gonna know the difference???? I love the Goodwill Store!! It is a real blessing to have such a nice one so close by. UMMMM....Roger thinks it's a CURSE.......crazy man.

Have a lovely fall day!

Blessings!

Beth

Birthday Season at a Close....finally......

Another busy weekend here at our house! Roger's "Birthday Season" continued through Sunday. His actual birthday was Oct. 7 but we celebrated all week! We went to a 4 star downtown Indianapolis on Oct. 5th and 6th. By the way, if you have never used Priceline or one of those kind of discount online places, it is really worth the effort! We have used this numerous times and usually get a $200 hotel room for $50 to $65 a night!
It was nice although we like our own cozy bed much better! We went shopping at Circle Center Mall and then went to a large antique mall for the rest of the day.
Sunday we had all the kids over for Roger's birthday! It was really wonderful!

Friday and Saturday I spent at work...and at the Emergency Room. I was pushing a wheelchair into a client's room when I slipped on some "Febreeze" another worker had sprayed. The "fall out" from the spray had made the floor very slippery and I fell on my right knee and then back on my left elbow. I spent the next few hours getting Xrays! Nothing broken but a lot of pain. The doctor said I sprayed my knee and my elbow. My knee is painful but not as bad as my elbow. However, I am VERY glad I didn't actually break anything! Today I go to "Associate Health" to be examined since it happened "on the job" and they determine when I go back to work.

We're continuing to fill out the lengthy adoption papers and to try to get our paperwork in order. When I go to Associate Health today, I'm going to get some shots that I am behind in and I will need before I go to Africa! (I'm ALMOST as afraid of shots as I am of FLYING!!!!) I won't travel for a year or so but there's no need in waiting to get shots, anyway! (Yuck...I could probably find a LOT of reasons NOT to get the shots now but since my arm is hurting anyway, I might as well get the shots now, right? I tend to get really sore with Tetanus shots....)

So that's about all that's happening in our house right now. Tomorrow I hope to post a "how to" on inexpensive and easy pumpkin decorations for your house...
Blessings to you!
Beth

Adoption Process Starting!!!!

I received an email from an adoption agency and in that email was all the application information we will need to get our adoption started. Believe it or not, it is POSSIBLE that we could have our adoption completed within a year. (Other information states less than that by far but I am NOT going to get my hopes up!!) It's kind of a scary process...I've been thinking, dreaming, hoping, praying and planning for this for a LONG time and for some reason, all of the sudden, I'M SCARED!! Part of it is that I will have to travel to Africa...possibly alone...for two weeks. I HATE TO FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only one of us needs to go and it seems best for ME to go since I will be MOMMY and since I'm used to having the bonding time while pregnant, I insist that I go! Studies have shown that adopted children do much better when the new parent travels to get him/her and has several days to let the child get to know you and trust you and realize that you are Momma!! That makes perfect sense! Can you imagine being a young African child, not able to speak our language "dropped off" at the airport with a family of strangers and then those strangers take you to their strange American house?? I'm VERY fearful of taking the trip but I think it probably IS the best thing in the long run!!
Besides that, Roger has to work and I might need some time for him to be home with us when we get home!!

Most likely our child is in Lesotho or Uganda. We're not sure which country God is directing us to. We were going to go to Ethiopia but our particular adoption agency has closed that location due to concerns about child trafficking and such.

This is a serious decision. This is for life! A commitment to someone you don't know...but that I already love! Seems strange to feel this way! I keep imagining a little child...I never see a face...and then I think what his/her (usually HER) life would be like if we DIDN'T do this! So many people don't understand WHY we would want to do this when we are in our 40's and have all those precious grandchildren! I absolutely ADORE our grandbabies. But they aren't REALLY ours! I keep having to give them back to their parents! Selfish parents!! LOL.... I usually don't tell people that they aren't REALLY ours when I have one of them with me at the store or somewhere! But then one of those precious little kids calls me "Grammy" and they ruin my illusion!

There are a LOT of hoops we will have to jump through and I'm worried that the biggest hurdle will be the fact that I'm overweight. Yeah, believe it or not, it does come into consideration! In fact, we are BOTH ineligible to adopt from China because of our weight. Even if I were to lose LOTS of weight and got down to a healthy weight, my actual body weight is too high. I'm not sure if they take into consideration my huge farm girl muscles or not....... But the GOOD NEWS IS....drum roll, please......I've lost 6 pounds this week without even trying. I've just cut back some and ate less!! I think that my weekend job is disastrous on my diet and so was my hysterectomy I had two years ago! The weight has kind of piled on lately! But it's going to come off! I have some major motivation now...I can't imagine traveling to Africa for two weeks this much overweight!! Don't ever expect me to be skinny....that's NOT going to happen. I'm shooting for 60 pounds. "Pleasantly plump."

So there you go. Keep us in your prayers...for lots of things AND for us to be able to finance this very expensive venture! I am full of faith that God will supply!

Blessings to you!
Beth
p.s....if the child is young and we can change her name, I'm thinking about Johannah Grace. Or Lydia Grace. I always think of a girl...but possibly a boy. I love the name Nathanial Allen. Roger's middle name is Allen. Most likely we will keep the African name and add an English name so all this is just my silly waste of time...when I should be doing push ups or jogging or SOMETHING!!!!
Me....

Daughter Jennie with her nephew Baby Brody (above) and her nephew Little Liam (below)

Monday was Becca's first official day at her "one day a week" school. (It isn't technically a "school"- it is a tutelage but it is run just like a school. I think they can't call it a school because of licensing and the days they meet.) She LOVED it! She has been so very busy doing her Latin, Literature, History, Choir, Science, Speech, and her Math. (Math is done at home only...Switched on Schoolhouse...) It is really good for us. She gets out one day a week without her "Mom" and it keeps us on track with her school work. I have been WAY too much fun the last two years...running around, etc. However, as long as she works hard most days, we CAN take a day to take field trips and bake and craft occaisionally! Pretty cool! She gets all her assignments (except math) from them. I also have all the answers online so I can grade them. She can also start earning high school credits this year while in 8th grade. I'm not quite sure how that works yet. I have to investigate it! Sounds really good though, right? It would be really neat if she could graduate a semester early and then do something else (Mission trip, volunteering, etc.) before she starts college. I'm sure she would prefer to do something with dogs. Can she be a missionary to dogs?? I have SUCH high aspirations for my children.....yeah.......

Last week her school polo shirts arrived and she felt "official!" Then her Latin kit and her Science and history books arrived and she felt a bit overloaded!

I've been busy taking care of little grandy kids, cleaning house and baking. Roger is going on a men's retreat Thursday through Saturday and he has requested that I bake the men LOTS of cookies. I think he wants to be popular....hehe! By the way, if the recipe CALLS for shortening, don't decide that margarine will be better. When making chocolate chip cookies, if the chocolate chips are taller than the actual cookie, you know you have done something wrong. Not that that ever happens to me...

I made more this morning. With Crisco.

I worked on cleaning the "baby" room yesterday and I have sorted through lots and lots of toys that are not really necessary to a child's happiness so I have so many to put in a garage sale...if that ever happens! I would love to earn enough money at the garage sale to help with Christmas this year!~

That's about all that is happening right now at our house!

However, last night Roger and I had a date! (I figured that if he could go on a men's retreat on a HOUSEBOAT in Kentucky for several days, he can take me on a date! RIGHT?) We had a nice time with candlelight and the whole thing. Italian, of course. It was delicious!

Sunday was Grandparents' Day and we (Roger, Beth, Jennie, Becca and Gideon) went out with my Mom and Dad. Dad's birthday was Friday so we celebrated his birthday as well. THEN we went to my son and daughter in law's house...mommy and daddy to Dylan and Brody...aka WONDERBOYS! They were joined by WONDERGIRL Seraphina and equally wonderful....WONDERINFANT Liam. They were....WONDERFUL!

Oh, their parents were there, too. (Yeah, they were wonderful, too.)

It was a delightful day made especially delightful since we are seldom together all at one time. Actually, daughter Marci and her boyfriend/sidekick couldn't be there due to work schedules but all the rest were there!

It was hysterical watching Roger and almost everyone else trying to get 4 little kids to smile for the camera (or at least LOOK at the camera) at the same time. They all looked like rodeo clowns trying to get their attention. THAT would have been the picture to take!! Good Grief! I can't figure out how to get those pictures on here today...I guess I will have to wait until Jennie gets home later. All I could find was pictures I took of her and the baby boys! But they are pretty cute pictures so it's ok!

By the way, it looks like the brick ranch house with a full finished basement on 1.23 acres sold the day we decided to go ahead with it. Sigh. Oh well. I guess God has something else planned and one of these days we'll be grateful. (I'm not sure I feel terribly grateful right this minute. Isn't that awful??? I think I am just disappointed and I hate this feeling of not knowing what we're doing. Oh dear, there's that "TRUST" word again.)

Have a lovely day...lots to do and little Seraphina will be here in about an hour! She will want her grammy to play with her. Rats....what an awful job I have!! HEHEHEHE!!!!!

More Romance...especially for Missy......

I suppose I should EXPLAIN that title...More romance...especially for Missy...the name does NOT imply that I think Missy should have more romance. Nor do WE necessarily need more romance...except that Rog has been sick all week!! Does kinda put a halt to all the kissing and hugging, doesn't it?

Anyway, my blogger and facebook friend Missy has requested that she be told all about our romance! And since she has known Roger for many many years but has never TECHNICALLY met me, I thought it was only right that I fill her in on all the GOSSIP!

Actually, dear Missy, Roger and I met when we were 14 years old at Bethesda Christian School. Neither of us were impressed with each other and it remained that way while we attended school together. I thought he was stuffy and he thought I was a bit on the wild side. Neither was true...he is very quiet and I am simply WAY MORE OUTGOING than I need to be! (I always wanted to be a quiet little petite girl and I am NONE of those things...except I am a girl....) He is not very tall and I didn't think that he and I would go together very well so I didn't really consider him. I don't even remember talking to him and we did not have a very large class...maybe about 60 or so in our class?? I DO remember him giving me some of his "Roger Looks"...as if to say, "Ok, that's enough now..." (I still get those looks, by the way....)



Anyway, we both grew up went our separate ways and years went by. We briefly saw each other at a class reunion and I did talk to his wife on the phone. I actually knew her from elementary school and we rode the same bus to school. She even drew my name for our 5th grade Christmas gift exchange! We all attended the same Christian school in high school.

A year or so went by and I was called about her death. I was going through a divorce at the time but I remember thinking how sorry I was and that we had children about the same age. Another year went by and I had decided to move closer to my parents and I enrolled my children in the same Christian school that I had attended...not knowing that Roger had done the same thing with his children.

My daughter Becca and his son Gideon became fast friends...best of friends or worst of enemies!! They wound up in the Principal's office once or twice. (They were only six years old...)

We (Roger and I) were thrown together throughout the next two years since we both attended the same meetings and field trips. (I must admit that eventually I found out if he were going on the field trip before I volunteered....sneaky, huh??)

He eventually asked me if I thought I was ready to go to some singles events because he attended a church that had a large active adult singles group. I was going to some events at my church but I thought it would be fun to meet some other people too. I started attending a Bible study that Roger was leading....(Oh dear, he was QUICKLY becoming MY KIND of GUY!) and then other studies and more singles activities. EVERYONE thought we were dating but we weren't! We were just becoming very good friends.

Roger's older son told my older sister...who happened to be one of his teacher's...that HIS DAD was going to marry HER SISTER and she promptly told ME! I assured her that we were NOT dating and the boy was just "wishful thinking."

I told Roger that I needed to tell him that and he told me that he already knew because his son had told HIM as well.

We kept talking via email (the highlight of my day!!) and eventually I got a few phone calls from him before Roger said that we "needed to meet." It scared the life out of me and I was just positive that Roger wanted to tell me that he was NOT interested in me. I told him that we didn't need to "meet" and that I was fine, no problem.

Well, he insisted and we agreed to meet at Applebee's. We stayed for three hours while we talked and he discussed the "pros and cons" of dating...ME! I was halfway offended and halfway pretty excited. I understood that I had five children...he had three...and that we didn't make a lot of money. He also told me that there were "OTHER" women that he was interested in.

WELL!!!!!

The next evening we hosted a singles' outing together to watch a Christmas program given by my church. HE showed up with another woman and sat there next to her. I was pretty upset but there happened to be a tall good looking man who asked ME to sit next to HIM sooo.......



What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right????



Roger turned around and motioned for me to move down there and sit next to HIM!! I got a rather smug look on my face and shook my head "no."

(I later found out that the lady he brought was NOT a date...they rode together and were just good buddies and had known each other for years and years...Whatever....)

We all went to a pizza place and the guy sat on one side of me and poor Roger sat across from me. (I was having a ball!!! That's not very nice to say, is it??)



So then came Christmas and Roger showed up at my house with Christmas cookies and his children and niece all carolling us. I was so impressed that he remembered that my daughter had severe allergies to nuts and that we couldn't have any walnuts or pecans in the house. My own family has a hard time remembering that sometimes so I was really impressed!



Over the next few months we kind of dated...secretly...and I wasn't completely sure he was the one. Sometimes he aggravated me and I didn't always answer his emails. I guess I didn't understand his sense of humor and his lack of commitment. One of our friends decided that we all needed a party so we had a "Groundhog Day Party."

Roger didn't go to the party but his best friend said to me, "I want to know why you haven't answered my friend Roger's emails for two weeks."

I was pretty happy that it evidently BOTHERED Roger enough to tell his friend that he hadn't heard from me in two weeks....so I said, "I want to know why YOU know that I haven't answered his emails in two weeks."

He just kind of got an awkward smile on his face and dropped the subject.

Before long, spring break came and we had been seeing each other a little bit. He went to Florida with his children to see his sister and I...being the poor person that I am...vacationed in Michigan for a few days. (I mean, who in their right mind leaves cold Indiana for even colder Michigan for spring break??) One evening, I got a long distance phone call IN THE HOTEL from him! Then it happened again the next night! He asked if he could see me the following Saturday!

When we finally saw each other...we met halfway since we lived a pretty good distance apart...I got in his van and he actually asked me if he could kiss me!! (I said no and slapped his face....NOT REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I told him I was wondering if he was ever going to get around to doing that!!!! By that time we had "kind of" dated for 6 months!!)

Before that, he hadn't even held hands with me. What a gentleman!

So we started dating seriously but his friends were telling him that he should be seeing other women besides me. We had a discussion about that and I asked him if he were going to KISS other women? He promptly said NO!!! Well, I figured that we were well past that stage in our relationship...if he were kissing ME he shouldn't be seeing other ladies!! After all, I had waited for 6 months before I got a kiss and I wasn't sharing him with anyone else. I told him that we had a limited amount of time to "date/court" and I wanted to spend the time with him. I also asked him if he thought that God had brought us together. He said, "YES."
So....why question God, right????

He didn't date anyone else.

We dated for 2 years before he popped the question but he first asked ALL my family...his kids, my kids AND my parents...permission to marry me!!
He and I were supposedly walking to a restaurant in his town and we walked through the gazebo that we had recently had his daughter's wedding in and I turned around and there he was on his knees! His hands were shaking and he asked me if I would wear his ring! Of course, I said YES!

THEN we went to a different restaurant where all of our kids were waiting for us! (There were 12 of us for supper that night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

So, that's the story. (For the most part. I did leave out the part about walking in our town park after dark and getting cold. We decided to get into my full sized van and talk. He smooched me and just THEN, we were SURROUNDED by two police cars who had us cornered! Roger said, "Let's get out of here!" I couldn't move the van and I'm SURE the police preferred we stay where we were.... Anyway, I showed my license and registration and after explaining that we had been walking and got cold, they let us go....evidently the park was closed! I'm glad it didn't make the papers...."Youth Pastor and the Divorcee Caught in Lion's Park"....oh dear....)

We've had our ups and downs...the difficulties of a blended family of mostly teenagers are always with us. We are currently trying to get "OUR" house so that neither of us feel uncomfortable here. I thought it was a good idea to move into Roger's house and not uproot his boys. It wasn't a wise decision but hopefully one we can rectify someday soon.

But while I wish some things hadn't happened in blending our families, I wouldn't trade Roger for the world. He is one of my greatest gifts from God and the best friend I have ever had. I love spending time with him just doing silly things. (we do a lot of silly things....)

We are also really considering adoption. It is my greatest wish to raise a little child with this man of my dreams. I love him with all of my heart!!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Ok, well, it's not really. It's beginning to look a lot like September. I've tried to hang a fall wreath on my front door but the hangy thing fell off the door. So it looks like I need to get dear hubby to fix it or buy one of those over the door hangers.
I have, however, been THINKING about Christmas. More correctly, I've been thinking about Christmas COOKIES!!
It has been our tradition in recent years to deliver Christmas cookies to our friends, neighbors and families. (In fact, lots of years ago, Roger delivering Christmas cookies to my house AND remembering that Jennie has a severe allergy to nuts was what STARTED me off falling in love with the guy. That, and I thought he was really a cutie pie. Truth be told, I already had a crush on him but when he made sure he didn't use any nuts in our cookies because of Jennie, I was QUITE impressed!!)
So I was wondering, does anyone REALLY know how long cookie dough can safely be frozen and stored in the freezer? I was thinking about spending part of September mixing up batches of chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin and those kinds of cookies and freezing them in balls. Of course, I will double wrap them in plastic and put them in freezer bags in the freezer.
I tried to look it up on the Internet and found that some people say they last a month, three months or six months.
Anybody have any ideas???