Happy ALMOST New Year!

Lord willing, we will be heading to Pensacola, Florida to visit my husband's sister and her family on Thursday morning. We MAY be trying to visit the Hermitage (Andrew Jackson's house) in Nashville, Tennessee on the way! Wouldn't that be wonderful? Becca, hopefully, will enjoy that since she has been studying that time period recently! Gideon enjoys history, too, and Roger and I are always interested in American History as well.

We hope to visit the ocean while we are in Pensacola. I know that it is not terribly warm there this time of year but I will never miss out on a chance to visit the ocean!! I love Indiana's flat farm land and it has always been "home" to me, but I do love the ocean.

I've been thinking about some "New Year's Resolutions." I'm not very good at keeping them...I still have lots of weight to lose so I don't intend to make THAT a resolution....perhaps I will make more of an effort in the coming year, but.......
Anyway, I hope to make a resolution that I can keep!

My biggest resolution is to keep a neater house! I think it is so difficult to keep a clean house when we are in a much smaller home but I know that our family will be happier to live here if it is nice and neat! I do love this little home....the other "big" house is much much grander and I must admit that at times I wonder "What was I thinking?" when we decided to move. But when that house is sold, we will be soooo much better off!

I hope that the Lord sells that house soon! (I don't think God needs to make New Year's Resolutions though.....)

I also fervently hope that the Lord blesses us with an adopted child. I dream of the day that I can take care of our own little one again. I was just thinking how nice it would be to, instead of always having to write on Christmas packages, "From Mom and Roger" or "From Dad and Beth"...to just "From Mommy and Daddy." Doesn't that sound nice?? Unification of the family...in a little, cute, cuddly sort of way! :)

I hope the Lord blesses and keeps you this New Year!
Blessings,
Beth

Merry Christmas!!

We went to the Christmas Eve service at a church we used to attend tonight. It was very nice and we saw some old friends!

One of the soloists is a professional tenor and he was absolutely amazing! We have heard him several times and attended church with him. Each year, he sings "Oh Holy Night." His song was so powerful and beautiful and suddenly, through his song, it dawned on me anew just how wonderful Jesus really is! "Fall on your knees" he sang....I DID fall on my knees in my heart and the tears rolled.

I suddenly realized that I have been harboring a bit of anger toward GOD! I know, that's awful! I was so disappointed in not being able to adopt the two little children and I feel like it has really hurt my relationship with my Savior. All of the sudden I came to the conclusion that I have NO RIGHT to be upset with God! He is the Giver of all good things and He OWNS ME! I gave my life to Him...after He gave His life FOR me! God knows the very best for us and for the orphans I have been praying for. I've been behaving like a spoiled brat just because I didn't get what I wanted.

It was really a burden lifter to ask my Savior for forgiveness for my "hidden" attitude.

On a good note and kind of a really cool thing...After the church service, we saw some friends again and as usual, our conversation lead to adoption. The husband turned to me and said, "Really? You are considering adoption?"
"Oh yes," I smiled, "we've been working on this for quite a while!" I related, through tears, again, about our disappointments lately.
He asked, "Who is your agency? I'm the new president of the board of ------- adoptions and I can put in a good word for you! In fact, I can talk to -------. What kind of an adoption are you looking at?"
I told him that we were really exploring our options right now and that we are at this point investigating fostering to adopt. They work through foster care, domestic, and foreign adoptions!
I thanked him deeply for any help he could give us!
We parted with encouragement from him, his wife who was also adopted, their birth daughter and their adopted little boy.

Kinda cool, don't you think?

Merry Christmas!!

Oh dear...I was told last night that our inquiries, registration information, and our debit card info (to pay for the registration fee) for the little girl we were trying to adopt, was never read. I know for a fact that the email with all the attachments was received because we got back an automated response...but evidently our email was never opened. Sooo...now the people deciding on the new home for the precious little girl are deciding TODAY whose home she will go to. We were not even considered because "supposedly" they didn't know we were interested. It is now too late for us.

It is a very hard thing, again, to be disappointed like this when I did everything right. I emailed all the information on Dec. 12th, emailed again to make sure the information was received, I called on the phone on Tuesday...but they were too busy to take my call...Their website asks us to wait 24 to 72 hours for our emails to be answered and NOT to phone because they are just too busy. So I did that over a period of almost two weeks and this is what happens. EERRRRGGGGG!!!

It just makes me wonder WHY these things happen!! Why is is so very difficult just to give a needy child a home?

Sometimes I feel like giving up...but I know that when I reach the end of my life, if I live long enough to be very old, I will regret not at least doing everything I can do to offer a child a home.

On a brighter note, Christmas is just around the corner, isn't it? Most of our shopping is done and the presents are mostly wrapped. I decorated a tree at the "big" house yesterday since we are going to do most of our celebrating there this year because we will have more room for everyone. We have a family dinner tonight with some of Roger's family coming over. Next week, Lord willing, we will be heading to Florida to celebrate in Pensacola with his twin sister and her family. We will first stop over in Nashville, Tennessee to visit with Joe, Roger's college roommate and good buddy!

Some friends of ours from Becca's homeschooling group are flying back from Ethiopia on Friday with their newest children! They already have 7 birth children and they are bringing back 4 more precious kids! Praise the Lord that is working out for them! We have been surrounded by adoption or "safe house" kids and that is probably what is making our adoption journey a bit harder for us...I know that they probably all have had bumps in the road as well that perhaps I didn't hear about! I am taking a meal to them the day before we leave for Florida...a meal for 13 people!! :) THAT will be fun!!

The little guy that I got really close to from my friend's "safe house" went home to his mom this week. That is wonderful for him but we got the impression that maybe she was going to place him in an adoptive home...we had hoped it would be with us....
I guess I should explain what a "safe house" is....when parents for some reason can't take care of their children and don't want to turn them over to the state, they can be put in a "safe house" with the intent of coming back to get them. It is all regulated and controlled but they are NOT in the foster care system. We have two friends who are doing that now.

Well, I have lots of cooking to do and kids to wake up! I was really mean to Becca on Tuesday, the first day of her long Winter break! I got her up and told her that I wanted to have her start on her Health class that day. She moaned and almost cried! (haha!!I'm sooo mean!!) She DOES have to do it in the month of January but I am going to give her this week completely off!! I'm not soooo mean! She doesn't have to start classes again for her "school" until January 23rd so she is working on Health and possibly Child Development for me! Some of the kids in the group are heading off on a missions trip but that wasn't in our budget this year.

You have a merry CHRISTmas!!!! Blessings to you!!
Love,
Beth

Adoption Road....

Wow....the road to adoption is NOT an easy one. I guess I've heard about adoption stories that just miraculously happen for a family. That has NOT been the case around here. Maybe in the future, I can look back and see miraculous things and road paved for us but from what I've heard other adoptive parents tell me, the road is NOT an easy one.

Our road is full of ups and downs, getting turned sideways, seemingly getting lost and confused along the way. Sometimes we just don't know how God is leading us.

Roger came and sat next to me a few nights ago. Very gently he told me that he doesn't see how we can possibly adopt from Africa. The money we need to do this will be required very soon. Our plan...what we thought God was going to do...was to sell the big house and use that money to finance our adoption. That hasn't happened yet. In fact, finances are tighter than they ever have been since we are trying to take care of two houses.

On the upside of things, though, we feel that PERHAPS God is working in a different direction in our adoption "journey." During the last few weeks, I have become aquainted...and rather attached...to two little boys in "Safe" houses...staying with two different friends of mine. Their mothers are working to get themselves in a better situation and the plans have been to get their little boys back. It looks like they are going back home and all should be reunited by Christmas. But I have suddenly realized that RIGHT here in our city...our state...our country...are children that desperately need homes...just as greatly as children in foreign countries need homes. These two little boys show signs of neglect...no physical abuse...but a lack of nurturing, teaching, and guiding that little ones need. If I could have adopted either of these little boys, I would have done whatever it took to do so...but that door closed as well.

Roger went to a two day seminar about children last week. Both days speakers talked about the need for homes for children in crisis. He came home every night talking about them. He was really interested in finding out more information about adopting from Foster Care or in some similar way. Quite a while ago, he told me that he thought that we would adopt by hearing about a child or children who were in need of a home. I don't think that foreign adoption was his first thought when we first started talking about it.

Soooo....right now we are making inquiries about a pretty 4 year old little girl who needs new parents. (Well....not NEW! In fact, EXPERIENCED parents were actually what they requested! Hey! We have 8 kids and 5 grandkids! How much more experience do they need, right? I think that makes us professional parents!)

The 4 year old little girl is GORGEOUS!!! She will certainly need lots of patient parental care since she has signs of abuse, neglect, domestic violence. What a precious little soul...she has endured so much in her little life. I wish I could just make it all better for her but I know that love is not all she needs. But....it's a start. Unconditional Love.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up AGAIN...like I did with the two little ones. I don't think that I am but I certainly keep finding myself going back to my email just to gaze at her precious little face. Oh wow. I'm in trouble!!!! ;)

We sent in our application to gain more information about her and hopefully next week we will at least have more knowledge. I don't know, as in the situation last month, if there are other families who are also interested in her. All we can do is try and to ask God, once more, for His guidance.

If you think about it, perhaps you could ask the Lord to guide us? And to protect these precious little ones who can not protect themselves.

Blessings to you this Christmas Season and always,
Beth

Blessings....

I'm so grateful for my husband. He's my true sweetheart.
This last week or so has been pretty hard on me...I've either broken down and cried at the drop of a hat, moped around in the dark, or I've been sick with this cold.

I mention all of that to say that I haven't done much around this house. Almost all of the cleaning up after supper has been done by my husband. I'm very grateful.

Sometimes he just put his arm around me or called me on the phone to tell me that he loves me. One day he walked in the living room to find me sitting in the dark. "Are you mourning?" he gently asked me.

He told me over and over again not to get my hopes up that we would be adopting the children that we tried to get. He said that he didn't want me to get my heart broken.

Well, it did, but I am better.

Nyquil has a lingering effect on me and it takes me hours into the day to fully function!!
But this morning I got up and ironed three pairs of his pants and I am working on baking two birthday cakes that people have ordered. This weekend we are planning to take two of the grandchildren to the Christmas parade and then to go cut down our Christmas tree.
I'm also working on more Christmas sewing projects! Hopefully I will get a lot done today!

I have two wonderfully scented candles burning in my little house this morning, I can look out my back window at the neighbor's woods and watch the silly squirrels dancing in the back yard.
Hopefully I can plan a birdfeeder craft to do with Brody and Dylan this weekend and we plan to hang them in the trees!

Life is good...and God is even BETTER!

Blessings to you all...Merry Christmas! (almost!)