It has been a really long time since I blogged anything...there were good reasons. It has been a really difficult month but God has shown his Grace upon us and things are looking up!
About a month ago today, we were waiting for my hubby to bring pizza home for supper when my neighbor knocked on the door. She gave me the horrible news that my dear dog Annie had pulled loose from her tie out and was just hit and killed on the road. I was devastated...to say the least. I was just about to bring her in for the night. She truly loved being outside, too. She was my dear friend in a way that I just can't explain.
While I cried and sobbed all that night, my sweet husband was getting very very sick. We thought it was the flu but by early the next morning (Saturday), we realized it was much more than that and rushed him to the Emergency Room in Indianapolis. He has cellulitis again, but this time it was much worse than ever before. They started him on several powerful antibiotics and within a few days, he started having signs of kidney failure. They immediately stopped those antibiotics and put him on different meds. His right leg was so infected, swollen, and hot. He had huge huge blisters longer than my hand on the front and back of his legs and was in incredible pain. He continued to get worse but by Wednesday or Thursday, I noticed a marked improvement in him. All this time, Israel and I tried to stay in the hospital with him as much as possible. All the nurses got a good dose of what homeschool "on the road" looks like. Roger stayed in the hospital for a total of 10 days but he came home on an IV medication that I have learned to give to him daily and I took care of the wounds on his leg. He has stayed flat on his back with his bad leg elevated for most of two weeks. He has gone back to work this week...starting out slowly and has tried to be there most of the working day. Yesterday his IV was removed and has been given another kind of antibiotic that he can take orally.
In the midst of this, I was still just so sad losing my best four legged friend. I couldn't even think about her without breaking down and crying. I was never angry at God for allowing all of this to happen but I did ask Him "WHY?"
"Why, Lord, would you take from me something that was precious, pure and good? Why would you take something from me that only wanted to please me, loved me unconditionally, enjoyed spending time with me, and was truly saddened when she was disobedient to me? She gave me such JOY!!"
That was when a small, quiet voice spoke to me.
"THAT, my child, is what I want from you. I gave you that relationship so that you would know what kind of love and devotion I want from you. I want that kind of a relationship with my child... "
I was humbled. I knew that I haven't been that kind of a loyal friend to God...my God, who died for me. I don't know how to be what I need to be, but I am making the effort to learn more about Him and to truly make the decision to LOVE Him the way that I should. Now when I think about my Annie, I smile...sadly, but I do enjoy her memory...a reminder of what I should be to my Savior. If a DOG can show ME what kind of unconditional love she gave to me, what more should MY love be to my Heavenly Father?
I knew that I would never ever replace my Annie but I did get little lap dog...Annie was a black lab who THOUGHT she was a lap dog...my sweetie.....
"Sherlock" is a pomeranian/sheltie mix (Or at least the vet thinks so...) He is so pretty and so rotten already. He loves me and it makes my heart ache less. I still miss my Annie but I do love him as well.
Thanksgiving was a shortened version with all the turmoil going on with Roger's illness...I even forgot to make the sweet potatoes! I didn't realize it until the next day! But it was still nice and we enjoyed the time we spent with our large family!
As crazy as it seems, I was also in the midst of filling out the paperwork to apply to adopt that precious little girl waiting for a family in China. This DOES seem the worst possible time to embark on this endeavor...now with huge medical bills looming for us...but we feel that if this is God's will, He will make a way. He never promised that things would be easy...just that He would be there before us. He is and will continue to be our Rock and our Comforter at the same time.
Blessings,
Beth
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