About Me

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Indiana, United States
I'm a mother of five of my own children, very blessed adoptive mommy to one, step mother to three! Married to a wonderful man who forgives ALOT! Grammy to 6!I also have the best "kids in law" that I could have! I am blessed to be able to baby sit for our grandchildren a few days a week. I am blessed to be able to NOW stay home full time to take care of our home, children, and grandchildren!!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Just a Christmas Adoption Thought...

The snow had just finished fluttering to the ground, leaving a light white layer on the sidewalk, dampening my sneakers just enough to make me wish I had worn my boots. “Precious”, our German shepherd mixed breed dog was eagerly pulling on her leash, impatient to explore the sights, smells and sounds of the snowy “new world” she had just discovered outside our door.

The surrounding neighborhoods were just waking up to the Christmas spirit with the newly strung lights shining at almost every front yard as we walked into the early evening darkness. Wreaths decked most front doors and twinkling and flashing decorations adorned the houses we passed. Christmas trees, both inside and outside, graced nearly every front window we viewed.
One window especially caught my eye as the dog and I slowed down in front of the house.

There, inside the home, was a little girl whose smile was broad enough to be seen from the sidewalk. Her blond bobbed hair bounced with excitement as she helped her mother decorate their Christmas tree. Her little white sweater was trimmed in the red and white stripe of candy canes. Her father stood just behind with a cup of something hot in his hands, smiling at the two as they enjoyed their task of decorating the tree.

I realized that my “slow” walk had turned into “stop” and I looked around in embarrassment, hoping that no one saw me staring into this neighbor’s house. Precious was again tugging on her leash and I quickly, but reluctantly, looked away.

I walked on, suddenly feeling very lonely for something-someone-I had been yearning for for several years. This little girl I witnessed inside her house reminded me of the little girl waiting for us in far away Africa. Our adoption papers were almost completely filled out, our home study nearly done and somewhere our child waits.

As I continued the snowy stroll, my thoughts were completely encompassed by the little girl I did not even know. I had never seen a picture, I didn’t know her birthday, I didn’t even know her name but she was known to me alone as “Grace.”

My eyes filled with tears missing the little girl I didn’t even know. I worried about her. “Did anyone…except us…love her?” “Was she safe?” “Was she hungry?” “Who was caring for her?” “What was she doing RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT?” “Did she wish she had a Mommy?”

I thought about the plans I had for her. I already had bins and bins of clothes and toys for her in all different sizes and recently I had moved on to buying shoes.
“Shoes were harder to judge the sizes”…but then I thought, “Most likely she doesn’t even have shoes…” and the sadness returned.

I tried to shrug it off and reached down to pet the very patient and old dog and hoped that she would live long enough to see our little girl, knowing that the adoption process was an extremely long one. I thought once again about Christmas…NEXT Christmas, or the one after, and about the little girl who would be grinning from ear to ear in OUR front room window as she helped her Mommy decorate her first American Christmas tree.

I thought about the gift she will be to our whole large family and how God showed his Grace on us to even allow this child in our lives.

Then I thought about another child who was a gift to the world, the Savior, Christ the Lord. What an incredible Gift He was! Not only are all good and perfect gifts from Him…such as our little girl…but so is the gift of Eternal Life for all who believe!

I walked home, my heart lighter and more tender to the Season in which I was living, grateful to my Savior for all his unfathomable gifts.


  1. Such beautiful thoughts straight from the heart Beth. The start of the journey and what would the journey be without these moments of longing for and anticipation. God will use this time to prepare your heart and your home.
    God gives us not only the gift of Christmas but also Advent - a time to prepare our homes and hearts for the Saviour. I pray you will enjoy not only this Christmas season but the advent of your adoption!

  2. It is so good to know that this little girl has a Heavenly Father who is watching over her and who will rejoice with you when you are together at last.
    This was so beautifully written. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, hopes and dreams.

  3. No matter what that little girl's situation is this year, next year she will be in a warm and loving home. Thanks for sharing your walk with us.

  4. Oh, Beth, this was so beautifully written, I felt like I was there on that walk with you yearning for your little girl.