Adoption Process Starting!!!!

I received an email from an adoption agency and in that email was all the application information we will need to get our adoption started. Believe it or not, it is POSSIBLE that we could have our adoption completed within a year. (Other information states less than that by far but I am NOT going to get my hopes up!!) It's kind of a scary process...I've been thinking, dreaming, hoping, praying and planning for this for a LONG time and for some reason, all of the sudden, I'M SCARED!! Part of it is that I will have to travel to Africa...possibly alone...for two weeks. I HATE TO FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only one of us needs to go and it seems best for ME to go since I will be MOMMY and since I'm used to having the bonding time while pregnant, I insist that I go! Studies have shown that adopted children do much better when the new parent travels to get him/her and has several days to let the child get to know you and trust you and realize that you are Momma!! That makes perfect sense! Can you imagine being a young African child, not able to speak our language "dropped off" at the airport with a family of strangers and then those strangers take you to their strange American house?? I'm VERY fearful of taking the trip but I think it probably IS the best thing in the long run!!
Besides that, Roger has to work and I might need some time for him to be home with us when we get home!!

Most likely our child is in Lesotho or Uganda. We're not sure which country God is directing us to. We were going to go to Ethiopia but our particular adoption agency has closed that location due to concerns about child trafficking and such.

This is a serious decision. This is for life! A commitment to someone you don't know...but that I already love! Seems strange to feel this way! I keep imagining a little child...I never see a face...and then I think what his/her (usually HER) life would be like if we DIDN'T do this! So many people don't understand WHY we would want to do this when we are in our 40's and have all those precious grandchildren! I absolutely ADORE our grandbabies. But they aren't REALLY ours! I keep having to give them back to their parents! Selfish parents!! LOL.... I usually don't tell people that they aren't REALLY ours when I have one of them with me at the store or somewhere! But then one of those precious little kids calls me "Grammy" and they ruin my illusion!

There are a LOT of hoops we will have to jump through and I'm worried that the biggest hurdle will be the fact that I'm overweight. Yeah, believe it or not, it does come into consideration! In fact, we are BOTH ineligible to adopt from China because of our weight. Even if I were to lose LOTS of weight and got down to a healthy weight, my actual body weight is too high. I'm not sure if they take into consideration my huge farm girl muscles or not....... But the GOOD NEWS IS....drum roll, please......I've lost 6 pounds this week without even trying. I've just cut back some and ate less!! I think that my weekend job is disastrous on my diet and so was my hysterectomy I had two years ago! The weight has kind of piled on lately! But it's going to come off! I have some major motivation now...I can't imagine traveling to Africa for two weeks this much overweight!! Don't ever expect me to be skinny....that's NOT going to happen. I'm shooting for 60 pounds. "Pleasantly plump."

So there you go. Keep us in your prayers...for lots of things AND for us to be able to finance this very expensive venture! I am full of faith that God will supply!

Blessings to you!
Beth
p.s....if the child is young and we can change her name, I'm thinking about Johannah Grace. Or Lydia Grace. I always think of a girl...but possibly a boy. I love the name Nathanial Allen. Roger's middle name is Allen. Most likely we will keep the African name and add an English name so all this is just my silly waste of time...when I should be doing push ups or jogging or SOMETHING!!!!
Me....