About Me

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Indiana, United States
I'm a mother of five of my own children, very blessed adoptive mommy to one, step mother to three! Married to a wonderful man who forgives ALOT! Grammy to 6!I also have the best "kids in law" that I could have! I am blessed to be able to baby sit for our grandchildren a few days a week. I am blessed to be able to NOW stay home full time to take care of our home, children, and grandchildren!!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Adoption, Step families and the flu!

I've been battling the flu lately. I am feeling better but I am just soooo very very tired! I had planned to get so much done this week and all I really accomplished was really scrubbing the floors in the kitchen, entry and hallway and cleaning up one bathroom. I did get to babysit my son's little boy, Dylan,5 years old, and later, my hubby's granddaughter, Seraphina, 9 months, who is in every way MY grandbaby as well, yesterday! I took Dylan to the park and he met a little boy about his age. They played and played and played! The park was just packed with mommies and their little ones. There was about 5 or 6 beautiful Asian children there with Caucasian mommies. I boldly...or not so boldly...asked one of the mommies it if was an adoption support group. She said, "Yes, it is!" I told her I thought it was a beautiful thing and we talked for a while. (She thought Dylan was mine and was shocked when I told her I was the GRANDMA! Kind of a nice ego boost for this chubby Grammy!!)
Adoption has been on my heart and mind for so many years, since I was a little girl. I keep praying about it. I wish God would just take away the desire if it isn't something He has for us to do. I just can't imagine anything better that I could do with the rest of my life than to give love to a couple of children who otherwise wouldn't have a family of their own.
I started out last year...or maybe it was two years ago...reading about orphans in Africa, especially Ethiopia. My heart would just break for them and I would cry and cry. My husband finally asked me to please stop going to those websites. I tried to obey him but every once in a while, I still read about them.
Then I started thinking about orphans in THIS country as well. Little children who may never hear about the love of God. Precious little ones that don't have someone to tuck them in at night and a place to feel safe, secured and deeply deeply loved.
I don't care what color or race of a child I might get. I realize that there are cultural differences and we would have to try soooo hard to include those things in their lives and to ask for help from other people.
The other day, I was working with an African American lady and I mentioned "John Denver". She just gave me a blank stare. She had no idea who he was! Then I realized how much of her culture that I don't know. Would it be fair to the child to raise him or her in a culture different than his or hers? Then I realized that just as there are differences in our white culture, lower class, upper class, the huge middle class, there is the same thing in African American or Hispanic cultures! You can't be everything to everybody...we would just have to try our very very best and expose the children to as much of their ethnic group as possible. I am friends with African Americans and they are so VERY similar to the way we live. When I am with them, I don't think about them being different than us. We are just friends and we have the same VALUES! I think that's what we get hung up on. People are people. There are different kinds of people with different kinds of values...I did not say that there are different races with different values. Not at all! People are people and people have different values. There are white people with values so different than mine that I want to say, "WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?"
I understand the argument that people say that people should raise children of their own race. I'm just not saying that I agree with it. There are so many children in this world...in this country...that need homes-Christian homes that will nurture and love them. All children deserve to be loved. I can't imagine growing up without the secure knowledge that my parents loved me and that I was safe.
That's what I want to do. I want to change a child's life forever by giving him or her all the love that he or she could handle. I want to change MY life forever.
This is something we're praying about...and waiting for. We already have had a huge task of trying to combine this family. Sometimes I think we are expecting perfection. It is nearly impossible to expect a group of older kids who weren't raised together to suddenly feel like everyone is one big family. I think maybe what we do have is pretty good. I honestly think it is unreasonable to expect them to immediately think of each other as brother and sisters instead of step-brothers and step-sisters. I think everyone is trying to include each other but they still had the majority if not ALL of their growing up years with their own core families. Sometimes I just think we expect too much.
Wow...well, there you go. I honestly don't know what made me write all that today. It's just been on my heart and I thought I'd share it. If you think about it, keep us in your prayers.
Have a lovely day!


  1. Beth my dear, what a sweetheart you are! And I would like to say that (in my humble opinion) you are thinking about the whole idea of cross cultural adoption in a very healthy way. Some people are very willing to adopt a child of a different race, but not willing to do the neccessary work to bring up that child so he or she is comfortable with who they are. The idea of "color blindness" is a very pretty one, but sadly, it's just not the way this old fallen world works. As a mama, your child's race quickly becomrs irrelevant, something you are completely unaware of. But to the rest of the world your child will be a black person, and that HUGELY affects the way that they are perceived and treated. It sounds like you have contact and friendship with folks of different races already, and that is the best start. Being willing to humbly ask for their insights and help is the next one. Some people, both blackk and white, are very offended at the thought of interracial adoption so you need to approach the subject carefully. Soon you will find a friend or family who are sympathetic and understanding and they can help you with some of the finer points, lol.
    As far as the blended family issues go, I'm afraid I can't be much help there... but I am wondering if a baby might bring the family together? Someone who was the little brother or sister of all of them?

    We should email about all of this girl... I love to talk adoption;)

  2. Thanks so much for your thoughts! I have had some opposition from a kind of distant family member in his 80's who said, when I spoke of adopting from Ethiopia, to "Leave them to the missionaries." That hurt so much and I am having a difficult time thinking in the same way about him. I realize that he was raised in a totally different time, so I need to offer him some Grace....but.....
    I think you are right, a little brother or sister sounds perfect!!! (or two!!) love, beth

  3. Leave them to the missionaries?? ill take care of them for you, momma!!