About Me

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Indiana, United States
I'm a mother of five of my own children, very blessed adoptive mommy to one, step mother to three! Married to a wonderful man who forgives ALOT! Grammy to 6!I also have the best "kids in law" that I could have! I am blessed to be able to baby sit for our grandchildren a few days a week. I am blessed to be able to NOW stay home full time to take care of our home, children, and grandchildren!!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Tomatoes, Bugs and Wearing Dresses Only

I stepped outside to gather what is left of our garden's tomatoes. Oh how we appreciated and enjoyed them this summer. I am so sorry to see them go. One of the favorite types of tomatoes were the "Yellow Pear" heirloom tomatoes from Bonnie Plants. Oh, were they wonderful! These were small tear shaped tomatoes that were almost irresistible! They didn't last long on our dinner table but thankfully we had a lot of them and there were newly ripened ones every day.
I have a small bowlful for our salad tonight and there MIGHT be a few more coming on yet.

I walked to another plant and discovered that one big pretty tomato had been chewed in half by something! The day before yesterday I had discovered one just like it! I couldn't figure out what it was...it was too high up to have been a rabbit or squirrel. I thought possibly it could have been a deer? I have seen deer in the surrounding area but never in our neighborhood. THEN, I thought, "What a beautiful leaf that is on my tomato plant!" and reached to touch it! EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! It was NOT a leaf but a big caterpillar! (It was still kind of pretty, but I preferred it to be a beautiful leaf! ) The mystery is solved. I can't believe how much a critter like that can EAT! Yuck.

My dear Blog friend "Persuaded" talked today about a huge spider in her house. For some reason it reminded me of a time that my good friend Vicki and I had a garage sale. She had already gone home to get her kids after school and I said I would load up what was left of hers into her cardboard boxes and take them to her in a few days. So, that's what I did...then I loaded them in my little Escort station wagon. I was really worn out so I decided that I would just deal with getting them to her in a day or so.
The next day, I went out to my car and to my horror, THERE WERE HUNDREDS OF BABY PRAYING MANTIS HATCHED IN MY CAR!!!! It's kind of funny now, years later, but it was really pretty yucky at the time! I certainly didn't go anywhere in my car for a while!
I rolled down the windows and opened the back hatch to let the little critters go!

Someone told me once that bugs can get into your house by way of cardboard boxes and even paper grocery bags! YUCK!!!!!!

I've been struggling for some time now about my clothing. I am not sure about wearing pants. I don't feel like any other lady is wrong to wear pants...my daughters do...and I do sometimes.
It's a real struggle for me, though, to know what is the right thing to do and wear. I really feel torn sometimes. There are so many things in my life that I do wrong that makes me feel that if I can do something that God wants me to do, I feel like I should. I just don't know.
I do know that when I wear dresses or skirts I feel much more like my husband's WIFE. I feel more submissive to him and feel sweeter. Does that make sense?
At one point in my life, I went to a church whose minister asked the ladies to wear dresses only. I tried to but I didn't believe in it. Now, years later, I feel led to make that change. I don't want to be a "Holier than Thou" person...or one who is trying to "earn salvation" but I honestly am trying to find out what God wants for my life.
It's really hard for me. I have been wearing skirts and dresses (mostly) for about eighteen months or so but upon occaision I wear pants. I have one pair of jeans that are about to fall apart. I don't know if I will buy any more of them.
I have been wearing some capris this summer...which I feel is distinctly feminine...but I much prefer my split skirts to them. I'd gladly give them up if I had more split skirts. I have a pattern now and I made my daughter some for church camp so I know that I can do it!
I think that I have a problem with this because no one else that I am close to wears only skirts. I feel like I am the only one out there...although I know I am not. I do prefer wearing skirts! But I think if I were skinnier, I'd enjoy it more. I do hate to look frumpy and chubby. I want my husband to think I look nice.
(My going on a diet is a good thing! I've lost about 11 or 12 pounds! WooHoo!)
I'd love to hear from anyone who has some suggestions...or some answers for me!
Thanks! Blessings to you all!


  1. A car full of praying mantis??? Oh my.. that sounds positively ghastly. *shudders*

    Now about your other thoughts.. you may (or may not) know that I am dresses only. Like you, I don't think it is wrong, or sinful for a woman to wear pants. I don't think Scripture really has anything to say on the matter (I know some will disagree with me, and I can respect that. But it's not my view.) I do think, however, that God is very concerned about the differences between the genders. As I came to realize this more and more, I began to consider the possibility of wearing only skirts and dresses. When I finally made the change, I felt a confirmation within my spirit. You know, as a single woman, my femininity isn't really important to anyone else. It would be easy to put that part of myself away, and relegate it to the irrelevant. But I have come to see that my femininity is very important to God. He made me this way, and it is a part of the mission and work I have to do for Him on this earth. Now that I wear skirts only, I almost feel like this manner of dress is a gift that the Lord has given me. I feel protected and cherished by Him, as a woman♥

    I'll be interested to hear what you and your husband decide to do!

  2. Dear dear Persuaded,
    I just love you to pieces! Hugs! Beth

  3. Hi, Beth! ♥

    I wore dresses only for about 15 years. Unfortunately, for most of those years, *I* fell into the camp of "all women should and if they don't then they are immodest and setting a lust trap for men, aren't real women, etc,etc." (Yuk!)

    I spent many days and hours deliberating (and debating!)over right and wrong and what God wanted women to wear, and lived in constant fear that I was still too pretty and tempting men! I stressed over pleasing God, being right with God, not being wordly, etc, etc. I was tied up in knots! The Lord was still able to live through me (because HE is mighty!) but I definitely alienated myself from most of the American people- especially the women.

    I think in the very beginning, I was simply "charmed" by the idea of going back in time and wishing life was still like the good old days but then that led to meeting people who thought life *SHOULD* be like the old days- such as the Amish and other plain or conservative groups.

    Eventually that led to our living in a plain community for 5 years and my son married a girl who was raised Amish until she was 14. Oh, the stories I could tell! ☺

    In looking back, I realize that what started out as a sweet and simple desire for the old days turned into me being extremely influenced by the writings and sermons of well meaning men. (Maybe like the dear pastor you mentioned?) I think I was then motivated by guilt, fear and condemnation and even pressured by men and women rather than being led by the Spirit.

    As I look back on our home videos, I can see the joy of the Lord slowly draining out of me until I was one big ball of nerves! So uptight about everything and I was so "concerned" about everyone's spiritual state.

    But, Beth, I really don't regret any of the "places" I have gone spiritually or any of the decisions I've made about life style in the past. I've learned so much and they all add up to who I am in Christ today! Jesus came that we might have LIFE and that more abundantly!

    I also don't now fall into the camp of judging other women *for* wearing dresses all the time rather than pants or think that they are like I was. (Oh the silly, silly things we sometimes do!) I love all my sisters and bless them in all that they do! The only reason I wrote what I have is because you asked! ☺ But if I have over stepped my bounds in any way, I ask your forgiveness. Also- please don't feel like you have to publish this comment if you don't have peace about it.. ♥

    Well, chatter, chatter, chatter! ☺ This is a subject I could write long about so e mail me if you'd like to dialog, Beth! ♥

  4. Dear Holly...
    Thank you so much for your honest and heart felt response to my ponderings! You are a real sweetie!
    I don't want to be a "people pleaser". I want to do what I feel God wants me to do. I just am not sure yet what that is.
    It would have been really easy for me to have tried to "work" my way to heaven if I had not been told the truth. I just don't want that kind of mentality to taint what I feel or think God is telling me. I also don't want to be wishy washy and I don't intend to make my teenage daughters wear something that they're not comfortable with...that is...something they don't feel led to do. They don't wear anything revealing and I don't want to "put them off" of God in laying down laws for them to follow that I am not sure of yet myself. I don't think I'm their "Holy Spirit." I think God can do a pretty good job of that in filling that role in their lives!! :)
    Thanks for your words...I'll try to email you in a few days!
    In Christ,

  5. Dear Beth,
    I came over to your blog after reading the comment you left at Mrs Fuentes beautiful blog that you feel 'removed' from those you attend church with. I really identify with that. We are the only homeschool family at our church and we are expecting our 7th baby - we place a high value on the importance of family life and a healthy lifestyle. We stand out for those very reasons! It breaks my heart to see so many of the young girls at church dressing immodestly and since the pastor's daughter had her lip pierced she has started a trend... thankfully, that is one fashion my daughters think is awful, they do not judge or avoid these girls but they do not follow the crowd and are actually held in high regard. We are not an 'ultra conservative' family. I cannot abide legalism and would be uncomfortable in a community or church that set too many rules but I do see what attracts people to these stricter communities and churches. Our family is known for being a family and we are always being told how amazing our children are but it still seems that they think us strange because we sit together in church, homeschool and dress nicely (in a modest but fashionable manner, definitely not plain or dowdy) for church!
    Many of the parents who allow their daughters to dress immodestly are friends and this is why I still have my dilemmas - we are building a pool and will be inviting people over as we love to offer hospitality but I know what the girls wear to the beach and I will be very uncomfortable with having all these girls in their low cut bikinis parading around in front of the other men and boys, I have a teenage son too, these girls are from Christian homes, their parents are leaders in the church, do I ask them to cover up? BTW I love to wear dresses but I also wear jeans but I try to team them with a feminine top.
    If you do have time, please pop over for a visit to my blog or send me an email. Several years ago my family overhauled its diet.. we did not need to lose weight but it was something that God laid on our heart- to live a healthier lifestyle - for you can still be slim and not enjoy good health! It made a huge difference to our health and well being. We are not totally radical (we still eat chocolate cake and drink coffee!) but we just started introducing more wholesome foods into our diet and rid our pantry of the processed stuff.

  6. I think you should wear what you are most comfortable in emotionally and physically.

  7. I agree with Marie, as long as it is modest be comfortable with yourself.

  8. Thank you ladies, for all your comments! I truly value you all! Have a lovely day!