About Me

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Indiana, United States
I'm a mother of five of my own children, very blessed adoptive mommy to one, step mother to three! Married to a wonderful man who forgives ALOT! Grammy to 6!I also have the best "kids in law" that I could have! I am blessed to be able to baby sit for our grandchildren a few days a week. I am blessed to be able to NOW stay home full time to take care of our home, children, and grandchildren!!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Giving God Control

There's not much going on here today. I've been resting from a hard weekend. On my way home Saturday night, I was taking a client back to his group home when he had a seizure. He was in the front seat of my van and we were on a VERY busy and FAST interstate. It was also really dark outside but fortunately we were about a mile or so from the exit. Once we got off the interstate, I was within a few minutes from his home so the staff that was there helped me with him. It was a difficult time and it took quite a while for him to come out of the seizure. But the good thing is that I now have "on the job training" for how to deal with his particular situation. He will be moving to the home that I work in within two weeks so this may be common for me to participate in. Last weekend, one of the lady clients I work with also had a seizure. It was scary both for her and for me.

This is NOT what I had pictured for my life as far as a "career" is concerned. Actually, I have never really thought about a "career" because that's just not where my heart is. I'm a HOMEMAKER, a MOMMY, a WIFE. I've always wanted to write...for children mostly...but that is as far as a career has ever really gone. I used to teach preschool and I thought that IF I was going to have a career outside of my home, that's where it would be AND I'd write my own curriculum and stories to go along with that.

Working with special needs ADULTS is a FAR stretch for me. I don't know what God has in mind for me.

It seems that whatever I have planned out for my life NEVER works out the way I imagine it to be. Not that my life isn't GOOD, it just doesn't work out according to MY PLANS! It's kind of like when you let a little toddler or preschooler "help" you with a chore. I've often let my little ones "hold" the mixer when we were whipping up some recipe while all along, I REALLY was the one who had control of the mixer.
That's how I feel. All along, I feel like I've got control of my life and THANKFULLY, God is really the One who is in control.

Lately, He seems to be throwing all these weird things into my path...things that I would NEVER have chosen but is somehow guiding me to be a better person. He is shaping me into someone, possibly, that He can use IF ONLY I WOULD LET HIM!

Last night we were at church and the new pastor from the church where my husband served as youth pastor many years ago was a guest in our church. My husband introduced himself to the pastor and his wife and I stood by feeling awkward. My husband loved serving as youth pastor and only gave it up because of his late wife's emotional needs. But from everything I've ever heard, they made quite a couple. She was very good in sign language and gifted in playing the piano and singing. They sang specials together. I just feel awkward. And tall. And chubby.

A good friend that attends Roger's old church called me the other day and was telling me that the NEW pastor was talking about Roger and his late wife. Although they had not yet met, he was saying what a blessing they were to the original pastor. Then my friend said that we should come for a visit to the church. Immediately, I thought "Oh...how uncomfortable that would be for me!"

I immediately compared myself to THEIR ministry and I felt that I came up short.

How often do we do that? We compare ourselves to the ministry or talents that God gives to others and we feel like we can't be a real "part" of the body of Christ because we don't have the same talents! How often do we give up doing something for God because we don't feel as if we have anything to give? I wonder if we really ever know sometimes how we are impacting other people's lives just by being loving or giving and being ourselves!

I don't know WHAT God has for a ministry for us...Roger and myself...but I know that RIGHT NOW God wants me to minister to our own family. We have eight children between us and three in law children and those precious grand babies...already here and "on the way." I have been hoping and praying and praying and praying that God would allow us to adopt a toddler or preschooler soon. I even have storage boxes full of clothes JUST IN CASE He gives me my dream of adopting. But I have to realize that He is the one in control of our lives. He is the one who puts the ingredients into our lives. We are the ones who have to allow Him to make it what He wants it to be.

Ultimately, I need to give control over to Him and allow Him to work in my life making me what He wants me to be. He always knows best. (But that isn't going to stop me from praying and praying and praying that God would give us a child or a sibling group to adopt. There are so many children in need and HEY, I have an empty bedroom!!!!)


  1. Two things:

    1. I knew and loved Sheryl, and I "know" and love you. I'm guessing Roger would say the same! Different does not equal better or worse, it equals God's fingerprints.

    2. For the past three years, I have been struggling with the desire to "have a ministry" that God and Jeremy both tell me is off-limits at this point in time. Learning to sit back and serve where God has put me, is not fun. But when I surrender from time to time, I find that I have a very rewarding (and fun) ministry right here where God has me. It's just that patience thing that gets me every time! Pesky patience! Who invented that, anyway?

  2. Dear Missy,
    You are such a sweetheart! Thanks for the nice words...
    It is strange how we want to serve God OUR way, isn't it?
    I'm not so good with that silly old Patience thing, either. It takes too much time!!

  3. Hi Beth! Thank you for stopping by for a visit....Your very right about christmas and a new kitty, I have three other cats but they don't really care about the dangling things anymore. Now Emmie is alot younger and likes swatting at stuff so it's going to be a challenge. I do tie all the ornaments on with yarn but there are other things that may catch her eye that can't be tied on....LOL!!! I bet trinket and Emmie would have great fun together! I hope you get to adopt a baby or some children, your such an inspiration and just by what I read on your blog you are a loving and caring family. God just has to have that in his plans for you...Have a wonderful day! hugs, Jennifer

  4. Sweetie, I am so sorry I didn't see this post... oh so many times I have struggled in a similar way. My life is so very very very different than what I had hopes and dreamed it would be. It's wonderful now, but giving up that dream is still a struggle at times. I loved your analogy of your child "helping" you with the mixer. That's an image I'll carry with me- God is the One in control. How very humbling... and still comforting♥

    Love ya dear☺