My last post was about my favorite Christmas gift I gave to my husband and the picture above is probably my favorite Christmas gift I have ever received...except for the Barbie camper I got in 1972. I really DID like that camper pretty well!! It had all KINDS of neat stuff in it......oh well...anyway, so the cameo is really pretty!! The photo is so fuzzy that it is hard to really see how gorgeous and old it really is. Inside...it is a locket, too...is a picture of an old man. IT IS NOT MY OLD MAN!!! (I really don't call him that...I think it sounds disrespectful!!) We assume it is the sweetheart of the lady who originally owned it. We don't have the heart to take it out. I intend to put the picture of MY sweetheart...a.k.a. my husband...over the top of it.I'm a bit discouraged today. To be honest, as much as we ALL believe that children are a blessing and an inheritance from the Lord, sometimes it is a difficult job. Sometimes I am just floored when I see or hear something that comes from one of them that is contrary to how I raised them.
I guess it comes back to sin...and gardens. You know, when you're growing plants there inevitably are some weeds that grow in your garden, too. You pull and pull the weeds to the very best of your ability but sometimes there are weeds that keep coming up anyway.
That's the way I feel today. WHICH weed did I not pull in time? What didn't I stop growing? What did I think was kind of "funny" or "ok" that I should have killed? (That is...the SIN, not the kid...haha...comic relief on this hard day...)
I think I was/am a parent of discipline and LOVE. I often worried about being so hard that I would drive them away from God. I have always ALWAYS hated the term "You have to pick your battles..." because I feel that there are little skirmishes that you have to win...or at least try your best to win...with your children. There are things that are ok and things that aren't ok in our homes. Certain kinds of language is one of them. We had a person tell us one time that cursing and profanity are just words and that we shouldn't make a big deal about it. I don't agree and neither does my husband. We have NEVER EVER allowed those words to be in our home.
So, WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
I suppose that when kids are no longer kids...when they're out of high school and technically adults that they make their own decisions. But I always thought that decisions were based on what you believe and were taught.
I think this world is so hard and nasty. As much as I would LOVE to just stay hidden in my home with my younger kids and keep away from it, my older kids have to go out into it every day. My "college age" kids LIVE in it every day. How do you live in that environment and not have some of it rub off onto you? I really thought that all those years of Christian Schools and Homeschooling and learning and living in my home would certainly have protected my kids from those weeds that try to grow in their lives.
I think I have been too lax in my prayers for my kids. And naive. I need to think about what I was like the year or two after I got out of high school. I was so anxious to be my own person and grow up. I know I did things that I wasn't proud of and neither were my parents.
However, when my babies were born, I would "bathe" them in prayer. Over the years, I haven't prayed as much for them.
Maybe much much prayer and supplication is a "weed" killer.
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Oh Beth dear.. thank you so much for this post! My oldest is showing some "weeds" in her own life and it is very difficult for me to deal with... some of your words were straight from the Lord to my heart. Appreciating you today, dear friend ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult, isn't it?? You just want to shake them and tell them to "KNOCK IT OFF!!"
ReplyDeleteWe have been dealing with just "little" things that our oldest kids are doing...we have married kids ages 26, 22 and 22, college kids ages 19 and 18, and then the three still in high school and junior high. It is very concerning to see SOME of them starting out in life making wrong decisions even if they are not what the "world" considers bad or sin. But they are not what we want in our Christian kids' lives. We certainly don't want the things to grow. Some of our kids aren't doing anything we can complain about but their work schedule conflicts with church attendance...I just don't want them to stray. I realize that "going to church" doesn't save you but it helps with your walk!!
I guess we need to really pray. Without ceasing....
I can identify, but I won't elaborate. I think I need to step up my weed-killer applications (prayer). Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI identify with the weeds too Beth and I do fret when I start to see them emerge, aided by a good dose of teenage hormones, even the sweetest of my children are affected by these surges. And I know I am guilty of neglecting both the 'weeding out' and the ongoing maintenance of the ground - applying the mulch of God's Word which is watered in by prayer, to prevent the weeds coming through - sometimes just simply by being too busy and allowing too many outside commitments to crowd my life. I have just read 'Already Gone Why your kids will quit church and what you can do about it' by Ken Ham and Britt Beemer. It was a wake up call to me - I realized homeschooling did not grant a form of immunity from 'going astray'. This book shook me up but I am grateful for the advice that the authors offer - to parents they urge 'Defend the Word''Live the Word' and remind us that God will give us the strength and wisdom to carry out our Biblical mandate - if we humble ourselves before Him and allow Him to work through us.
ReplyDeleteOn a lighter note, I have just written a 'nostalgia' post - funnily enough I was going to mention the Barbie caravan my parents bought me back in the 70's - Was yours orange? I now prefer that my girls own baby dolls to nurture but have to say I loved that caravan and the house which is what I played with and 'dressed' up rather than the dolls! The homemaking instinct was there from an early age!
Ann, YES, my Barbi caravan/camper WAS orange! I remember playing and playing and playing with it!!
ReplyDeleteWhat is REALLY funny is that my hubby Roger and his twin sister EACH got a camper...Ronda wanted the Barbie one and Roger wanted a "Ranger Rick" camper. His is STILL in our closet in nearly perfect shape. I still tease him about it and tell him it is a Barbie camper. He says, "It's RANGER RICK!!"
Finally, now in his mid 40's, he has his OWN caravan/camper in our driveway!! Maybe I paint should "Ranger Roger" on the side of his new camper!
I also loved my baby dolls and had many of them as well as my own little "house" on our little farm. It was a little woodshed and one side of it was my house. It had cute little curtains and all my tiny appliances. I "ran away" there once when I was 7. No one knew I ran away thus no one knew to come and look for me. That REALLY upset me!
As far as all the comments I have gotten regarding my post, you are all right, and we have decided to be more "intentional" and not just live from day to day in our "dailies" but to live the Life intentionally. We are trying to have deliberate conversations at mealtime and reading the Scriptures with them each night.
I had a conversation with several of my older kids today. I feel somewhat better. My dear precious son that married in August and just found out that they are expecting has already decided to seek out a church in the town they moved to and try to find Wednesday night services that they can go to since their work schedule prohibits them going to church on Sundays. Hopefully, his schedule will change and they can go back to their normal life. He was the chaplain of his senior class and they both worked in the Junior HIgh youth group.
Two of my daughters talked together and want permission for my high school daughter go attend Sunday morning services at another Bible believing church with her older sister. Then she can go to our church the rest of the time with us. At least they would both be going!!
I've spent much of the day crying off and on. I know that we can't live our kids lives for them but I don't want to see them go through the same mistakes that I went through. I think today is more dangerous than it was when I was a kid and the mistakes can be far more damaging.
Thanks for your comments.
Love, Beth