Sunday evening, I made some sweet biscuits and heated up some applesauce. To the applesauce, I added just a little bit of the cinnamon apple jelly and then piled it on top of the hot buttered biscuits. My husband has never had that before and he thought it was delicious! Kind of like a hot applesauce shortcake instead of a cold strawberry one!



My mother used to make that for us when we lived on our small farm. We had so much to choose from when it came to preserving our food. We had an overabundance of apple trees, a cherry tree and walnut trees at the back of our little farm. We had cows, a few pigs, and lots of chickens and a big rooster named Barney. (I think we named him after Barney Fife...??) We had a huge garden where we grew most of our vegetables. We had horses and ponies to ride. We had kittens in our barn and a few dogs to romp with and pet bunnies to hold.



We got our fresh milk from which we made butter from a little tiny old lady that lived close to us. It was amazing to go to her house...it was like stepping back in time. We would sit in her parlor while my mother was with her in the kitchen. I would just look around at what I considered treasures. I am sure that most of her things came from the early 1900's or late 1800's. My mother told us not to disturb anything...but we were allowed to play with a Chinese checkers game. She had an old porcelain doll that must have been hers as a little girl. I tried very hard not to touch it...sometimes I succeeded.



Her house was tiny...really nothing more than a two bedroom shack and she lived there with her son...who was himself fairly old. She had quilts and afghans and little tiny doilies all over her parlor. I know now that the doilies were to cover the holes in her furniture. The room wasn't very well lit... they may have had electricity but the house was so old that it probably had only one light in each room. The outside of her house was surrounded by flowers and garden fences laced with vines.

Her name was Mrs. Blacketter and she lived a very simple life. It seemed to a little six or seven year old girl like she was living in the pioneer days. I thought it was beautiful. I knew that house had a lot to be desired and was even falling apart in some places but she was such a different kind of person than I had ever met before. This was a time when the Vietnam war was going on and our pastor would preach against "hot pants", hippies, and women's lib. I didn't really know about those things personally but I knew that this little old lady was different and it fascinated me. I think she was happy with what she had and satisfied with the money she made from selling milk.



I guess it comes back to contentment again. I remember that her house was stiflingly hot at times because of course, she had no air conditioner. We didn't either, come to think about it...we had "cross ventilation" also known as open windows! But how wonderful it was when fresh air was blowing in the house allowing the scent of honeysuckle and lilacs drift into our bedrooms. This of course was when the wind was NOT blowing from the south...there was a large pig farm about half a mile up the road...But we didn't know that we were missing out on anything. When we finally get a window air conditioner, we didn't know how we ever did without it!



I heard a missionary who was in the states on deputation talk one time. He said that he was taken to a "Super Wal-Mart." He and the pastoral staff took a few steps into the store and then he asked if he could leave. The pastors questioned him about it and he said that he and his family lived under such meager conditions on the mission field that for him to "window shop" in a place like Wal-Mart could only lead to discontentment in his life. It would do him no good and only do him harm to spend time wishing for things that he would never have.



I had the same kind of experience last night. My husband and I had joined a big retail discount club when we were adding on to our house. Now they send us these exclusive members only catalogs. On the front of that booklet there is a beautiful sectional sofa. I picked the catalog up and immediately said, "Oooohhh, I'd love to have that!" Then I flipped through a few pages and repeated that phrase a time or two every time something caught my fancy. Then I stopped and put down the catalog. I remembered that wise missionary. I don't need anything...nothing. If I continue to look at those "wish books" I can't imagine that it would lead to anything but discontentment.



Yes, there are a few things in our home that are tattered...but they still work. We don't HAVE to replace them! Our refrigerator is becoming a topic of a joke in our house. Sometimes when we open it, one of the shelves in the door flies off dumping whatever may have been stored there. Sometimes our ice maker doesn't work correctly and leaves a big clump of ice in the container. Sometimes it works too well and we have ice stuffed into almost every nook and cranny in the little freezer. Sometimes it just decides to deposit water all over our kitchen floor. SOMETIME it will need to be replaced but not today. Our joke is about contentment. Every time one of us complains, we laugh and remind each other that there are so many people in this world, in this country, in this state....(I'd include our town but I'm pretty sure that we have the worst refrigerator in our town...you'd just have to know our town to understand....) that would love to have a refrigerator that works fairly well most of the time. Sometimes we say, "OK, can we just take it to them when we get our new one?" Then we laugh. We are trying to learn contentment and let it be that things aren't exactly the way we want them to be all the time. It doesn't seem like a joke but we always end up laughing when we're done complaining. Then I feel bad that I complained.



It might take me some time Lord, but I will learn. Thank you for making me a more grateful person.

My Lack of Contentment

I have been so blessed by other ladies' blogs. I don't follow that many but those that I do seem to have a kindred spirit to mine. I sense some real appreciation for what they HAVE and do not seem to be dwelling on what they DON'T have.
I was not able to attend church yesterday because I wasn't feeling very well (feel better now) but my husband was telling me a little about the message. Part of what he carried away was about contentment. I think that was more of a side note in the sermon but being content is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately.
I'm not sure if lack of contentment is something that I really struggle with...but sometimes I wonder if I am deceiving myself. No, I don't have to have all new clothes from brand name designers...but I DO make trips to the Goodwill store quite frequently! My house is jam packed with STUFF...stuff we don't need...things we can do without. Sooo....why do we have it?
Am I just not content with what we have?
I wonder sometimes if I have a problem with faith. The Bible says that God will supply all our needs according to His riches in glory.....so why do I feel sometimes that I have to have an overabundance of things? Things in our pantry...things in our closets...things sitting all over our house...
When the Israelites were being fed by manna from heaven, they were supplied just what they needed for that day...they could gather enough for the Sabbath day but anything they "hoarded" would go bad before they could eat it. They had to rely on God's provision every day...for that day.
That manna was wonderful...it tasted like honey and as if it were prepared with olive oil. Yet eventually, they became discontent with what God had provided for them. How much am I like that?
It is so easy to judge the Biblical people since we have 20/20 hindsight. I'm no better than they were.
I'm not saying that it shows a lack of faith when we preserve our garden's produce or find bargains in the grocery store or buy in bulk to save money. I'm not even saying that it is wrong to buy a month or two of grocery items at a time...I know that this saves us lots of money because we go to the grocery store less often and are able to avoid the "impulse" purchases. I often buy cases of goods at Aldis and then don't have to spend the time or gas to go back to that store again for quite a while. I do think God expects us to be good stewards of what we have that He has provided through our hard work...and that of our husbands' hard work. We need to be responsible in our spending and responsible to God and to our husbands...or fathers in some cases.
However, sometimes I feel like I'm not trusting in God to provide for us IF I'm buying all those items as a "security blanket." Maybe no one else ever feels that way. I guess it's a fine line to walk...being frugal and providing for my family....or trying to provide for my family without thought or respect to God's future provision.
I had no intention to write about this today as I sat down to our computer. It was supposed to be "light". I guess God was speaking to me as I was writing and made me realize that I need to WALK in my FAITH...not just talk about it........

There was something else that God spoke to me about today. I was cleaning out our OLD van...(Yes, God, I'm very thankful for it and content with it...in fact, I really kinda love that old van...I remember what a blessing it was when I first got it!! ) Anyway, something in that van reminded me of a person who doesn't necessarily treat me very well. I felt a shock of self pity come over me and I thought, "I'm really tired of being treated that way..." IMMEDIATELY, I had a soft voice whisper to me..."And how did people treat Me at Calvary? Are you better than Me that you should always be treated well?" It certainly brought me back down to where I should be. It isn't easy EVER for me to allow someone to talk to me in a disrespectful tone...I expect it will always be hard for me to not become angry about it. But I have never been beaten or crucified. I've never had to bear the weight of the sins of the whole world...including my own.
I've never had my Heavenly Father turn away from me because of those sins cast on a perfect being. I've never had to suffer the anguish of the cross.
I guess not being treated right...or being misunderstood or talked about...is something that I can handle...with God's Grace.

Going to the doctor....Michael Jackson's death

So....I went to the doctor today concerning the possible exposure to the fungus that causes histoplastosis. Not a big deal but she wanted me to get a chest xray. I'm going to wait a while on that since our "good" insurance doesn't take over until July 1st.
The doctor didn't seem terribly concerned. I think she was MORE concerned about the fact that I was messing around with old horse manure...she just doesn't understand. I guess doctors don't like to get their hands dirty. She wants me to throw it away. I told her that it was already on my garden and I'm not about to throw out my beans. Good grief!!!! haha

Come to find out, it wasn't completely decided that the fungus actually came from the compost heap that contains all the old horse stall waste. So, after initially getting a little nervous, I've calmed down and am going to see if I actually have any symptoms! No fever or flu like symptoms. Just some asthma but that's normal for me this time of year.


I think our household...teenage mostly...is more shaken up today about Michael Jackson's death. I know that as a very conservative Christian mom, I'm not SUPPOSED to like that kind of music but that is what I grew up with. You've got to admit that he was a very talented performer. Some of his songs were incredible and beautiful. He was also very interested in humanity...something that we all could stand to be a little more interested in. (Especially Christians....)
We all know the accusations that were against him from time to time and YES, there were some pretty strange things about the poor man. I honestly think people used and misused him. He had some very very sad times in his life and I just felt sorry for him.
Whatever we thought about him personally, his music was incredible and he was a man who, if he hadn't accepted the Lord, needed the Lord. But who could get close enough to tell him?
I think that's the saddest thing of all.

Garden Problem???

Well, I was so proud of my garden and the way I was treating the soil...so maybe it wasn't such a good idea! (My veggies do look really really good!!!)
My older brother called my dad last night to inform him that the place that they got the old horse manure had a rather serious "incident". A worker there was found collapsed and thought to have had a heart attack. Instead, it seems that he has histoplasmosis from the pile of old horse manure. Most likely, bird or bat droppings were originally in the stalls of the horses and since it has been moved around lately, the fungus has become airborne.
I have been feeling pretty yucky this past week but figured it was just because of the heat, etc.
I have really been working with that soil and even planted some more tomato plants in soil treated with that "fertilizer."
So, I'm going to call my doctor and see if I can be seen.
The cost of my home grown green beans has just gone up........

School enrollment and just stuff!

Yesterday was a pretty busy day with lots of different "kid" things to do. One exciting thing we did was enrolling my girls in school. Normally, I would really HATE that day...I have always felt as if I was relinquishing them to the public school system. However, yesterday I enrolled them in Pensacola Christian College's home school program. I am REALLY happy to be blessed to be able to take advantage of that program. I was concerned about teaching my daughters as they grew older...especially since one of them is in high school. I knew that my education was not extensive enough to teach them Algebra. When I was in high school, Algebra was not even required. With this program, she'll be able to graduate with an accredited diploma! She can take classes not offered through Pensacola and still get credit if they are given by other colleges and such.

So this is to me, the best of both worlds. I can have my girls home with me being exposed to what I want them to be exposed to and still have a thorough education. It's not as if they are totally ignorant of what goes on and what life really is like. They are fully aware of what happens in the world. THAT is why my highschooler made the decision to be home schooled for the rest of her high school years. She just had had enough of the language and the information that is in front of her all the time. She has LOTS of friends...her cellphone is constantly ringing or notifying us of her text messages but she doesn't feel like she wants all the rest of the "high school" situations in her life all the time.

I haven't tried this video school (actually it is streaming from the computer) before so I am sure it will be something to get used to. I am grateful for the need to be accountable to someone else besides just me as well.

Further update on the new kitten. Well....Harmony the cat STILL hates Trinket. In fact, she hates all of us right now. Poor cat, I really didn't think she would react this badly. Hopefully, with time...?????

The garden is looking great. We had a few tiny tomatoes yesterday! They were the little cherry type and were a beautiful orange color. They were really sweet and not as acidic as the red ones.

The bunnies ate the rest of the blooms off my zucchini plants...I thought I had one left but they found it, too..... Oh well...there are usually an overabundance of them around Indiana when they're harvested...perhaps there will still be some zucchini bread baked in our home anyway!!

It's a beautiful but very hot day today...we have many 4H projects to work on and I have been babysitting grandchildren! We went to the park and took fun pictures. The water fountain wasn't working correctly and squirted all over the place! Dylan, five, thought it was hilarious and got totally drenched. We did get pictures of that!!!

I love being home most days and sharing in the life of my favorite people! Very grateful for what God is doing in my life.

Gotta run...chicken on the stove - I'm making supper for my newly expectant daughter-in-law and my son! (She's not feeling the greatest today!)

Garden Update!!

I have lots to do today, TB test, homeschool meeting, 4H meeting, babysitting sweet granddaughter....
BUT FIRST...an update about my raised bed garden!!
I planted some of it last Monday, a week ago today. Friday evening, there were just a few beans peeking up in the soil. By Saturday evening, some were literally three inches tall!!!! Absolutely amazing! I had no idea they would grow that quickly! Today, Monday, they're really getting big and their leaves look nice and healthy.
I have two beds of green beans...I read that I can plant more in a smaller area if the soil is good, so I am trying that out this year and seeing how it will work. The old horse manure must be working wonders...I wonder if that's what "Jack" used when he planted his beanstalk!

On another note, we now have a new little kitten!! We were visiting my two brothers' homes in the country yesterday after church...(wonderful to see them again...need to make a greater effort to do that!) We live in opposite corners of the county and it takes about 40 minutes to each other's homes....not a LONG way, but not really close either. Anyway, we came home from my older brother's house with a new kitten! Her name is Trinket and she is creamy white with gray ears, tail and paws. She has blue eyes and looks like a Siamese but she's not...as far as I know. (Her mama is just a gray barn cat.) She is related to kitties that we had years ago when we lived on a small farm about an hour south of here.

The self appointed queen of our house, Harmony, a long haired almost two year old cat, is NOT appreciating the new arrival at ALL. She is very upset and I am trying to be sweet to her but she is not having anything to do with us right now. I'm trying to give her extra attention and treats but it isn't helping at all. Hopefully she will come around but until that time, we are just keeping Trinket safely away from Miss Harmony. I might let Harmony come upstairs while I clean our room...she can lounge on our bed and feel "special" for a little while! Poor girl, she just doesn't understand! How COULD we do such a mean thing to her???? Our big dog, Precious, on the other hand, is really excited about her new "baby." She is a german shepherd/collie mix and is so gentle. She's so sweet to puppies, kittens, chinchilla's (did I spell that right? yeah, we have a pet chinchilla named Charlie...Precious lets Charlie climb all over her!)

Well, a really nasty storm looks like it's brewing here in Indiana. The skies are black once again...nice for my garden right now but its getting kinda old... We've lost several shingles on our house.

A huge clap of thunder just exploded outside and I'm sure Precious puppy is about to have a heart attack...she needs to find a table to hide under so I'd better get her downstairs with me!
So long for now!
Beth

Appreciation

I was driving my 16 year old daughter home from a party last week when we struck up a conversation. I don't really remember how it started but I was telling her how much I appreciated her and her values. Earlier she had texted me to tell me that she was ready to come home...fairly early...because she wasn't quite comfortable there. The girls who were having the party were "privileged" and lacked nothing monetarily but they were lacking in other aspects of their lives. Jennie wasn't really sure what was going to go on and she just didn't want to be there. Thank God...literally....
She actually left before they ate...and before the birthday cake...so she was hungry. I told her I'd be happy to go to a fast food place and get her something...and she quickly agreed.
Afterwards, we were headed home and I told her how much I loved her and that if I had lots of money, I'd get her anything she wanted. She laughed and said, "I don't want anything except this chicken sandwich!"
I thought about it for a minute and then said, "I'm glad I don't have LOTS of money because then you wouldn't be the way you are."
I probably would have spoiled her...and spoiled her siblings along the way. She appreciates everything she gets. Sure, she has different tastes than I do and sometimes I pick out a skirt that she really thinks is horrible...but she is not demanding. I appreciate THAT!
You might think that I am bragging, maybe I am, but I'm not intending to do so.
This dear daughter of mine is not perfect...we have our disagreements from time to time but I am so happy with how she is turning out. Currently she is driving me crazy asking me to sponsor another child from a third world country.
Recently she decided that she would go for two days...maybe it was 36 hours...and not eat. She asked permission first and told me that she wanted to know what it was like to truly be hungry. She sat at the table with us for meals but didn't eat. She didn't make a big deal of it...she just didn't eat.
Everything that is important to her right now centers around helping children in Africa. I remember when she was just a little girl, she was up late with me and an info-mercial came on our tv about sponsoring a child from another country. She cried and wanted to do that even then.
My little missionary.
I know that God gave her the heart that she has but I think that if she grew up with everything at her fingertips she wouldn't be as responsive to His tugging of her heart.

I think that there have been times in my heart that I was so much more appreciative of things that I was given than at other times. When I was a single mother, we didn't have a kitchen table. We prayed about it and just did without for a while. I was working in a Christian daycare and one of the ladies there said that she had a table that she didn't need anymore. I was just thrilled! To be honest, it wasn't very pretty...but it was perfect for us and given to us out of love from the lady and from God. It was just right for us to use and for my children to do their crafts on. How we appreciated and loved that old table! And loved God even more for giving it to us!
Over and over again, God supplied our need.

There were times that someone did something secretly for us and it was a blessing.

Other times I would find a five or ten dollar bill in my purse or pocket that I had never missed but suddently had turned up when I really needed it.

One day, I found a FIFTY dollar bill that was given to me for Christmas by my parents. I didn't know that I hadn't already spent it but there it was, in the Christmas card just when I needed it.
My daughter was attending a Christian school at the time and told of it during prayer and praise time. The teacher was unimpressed. He said, "It was only fifty dollars." ONLY FIFTY DOLLARS??? That was a huge amount at that time in our lives. I don't ever want to get to that mentality and overlook a gift from God...or anyone else for that matter.

I guess that's why I started this post with the word "appreciation." Sometimes when we have a lot of things, we don't appreciate what we get. (Like those little "miracle" finds at the Goodwill Store!) When we have everything we think we need or want, we are actually robbing ourselves and possibly God of those miracles and blessings in our lives. I honestly think I'm happier and MORE CONTENT with less. I KNOW I'm actually more content with less. It doesn't seem like it makes much sense, does it? I can actually be happier with less...to do without some things. I need to find a way to fully convince myself of that and learn to share the blessings that God sends my way...sometimes I need to pass them on to someone else!

The other day I found our "Blessings" book that my children and I wrote when I was a single mom. I documented every wonderful thing that God did for us...that I was aware of, that is. (I realize that He does wonderful things for us all the time that we aren't aware of!)
It was a real joy to relive those experiences once again. Then I wondered, "Where did that joy go?"
It just seems like I'm not as appreciative now as I was back then. Seems like I've gotten used to His goodness and mercy.

Once again, I have some forgiveness to seek from my God. Thank you, Lord, for your matchless Grace.....