My Lack of Contentment

I have been so blessed by other ladies' blogs. I don't follow that many but those that I do seem to have a kindred spirit to mine. I sense some real appreciation for what they HAVE and do not seem to be dwelling on what they DON'T have.
I was not able to attend church yesterday because I wasn't feeling very well (feel better now) but my husband was telling me a little about the message. Part of what he carried away was about contentment. I think that was more of a side note in the sermon but being content is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately.
I'm not sure if lack of contentment is something that I really struggle with...but sometimes I wonder if I am deceiving myself. No, I don't have to have all new clothes from brand name designers...but I DO make trips to the Goodwill store quite frequently! My house is jam packed with STUFF...stuff we don't need...things we can do without. Sooo....why do we have it?
Am I just not content with what we have?
I wonder sometimes if I have a problem with faith. The Bible says that God will supply all our needs according to His riches in glory.....so why do I feel sometimes that I have to have an overabundance of things? Things in our pantry...things in our closets...things sitting all over our house...
When the Israelites were being fed by manna from heaven, they were supplied just what they needed for that day...they could gather enough for the Sabbath day but anything they "hoarded" would go bad before they could eat it. They had to rely on God's provision every day...for that day.
That manna was wonderful...it tasted like honey and as if it were prepared with olive oil. Yet eventually, they became discontent with what God had provided for them. How much am I like that?
It is so easy to judge the Biblical people since we have 20/20 hindsight. I'm no better than they were.
I'm not saying that it shows a lack of faith when we preserve our garden's produce or find bargains in the grocery store or buy in bulk to save money. I'm not even saying that it is wrong to buy a month or two of grocery items at a time...I know that this saves us lots of money because we go to the grocery store less often and are able to avoid the "impulse" purchases. I often buy cases of goods at Aldis and then don't have to spend the time or gas to go back to that store again for quite a while. I do think God expects us to be good stewards of what we have that He has provided through our hard work...and that of our husbands' hard work. We need to be responsible in our spending and responsible to God and to our husbands...or fathers in some cases.
However, sometimes I feel like I'm not trusting in God to provide for us IF I'm buying all those items as a "security blanket." Maybe no one else ever feels that way. I guess it's a fine line to walk...being frugal and providing for my family....or trying to provide for my family without thought or respect to God's future provision.
I had no intention to write about this today as I sat down to our computer. It was supposed to be "light". I guess God was speaking to me as I was writing and made me realize that I need to WALK in my FAITH...not just talk about it........

There was something else that God spoke to me about today. I was cleaning out our OLD van...(Yes, God, I'm very thankful for it and content with it...in fact, I really kinda love that old van...I remember what a blessing it was when I first got it!! ) Anyway, something in that van reminded me of a person who doesn't necessarily treat me very well. I felt a shock of self pity come over me and I thought, "I'm really tired of being treated that way..." IMMEDIATELY, I had a soft voice whisper to me..."And how did people treat Me at Calvary? Are you better than Me that you should always be treated well?" It certainly brought me back down to where I should be. It isn't easy EVER for me to allow someone to talk to me in a disrespectful tone...I expect it will always be hard for me to not become angry about it. But I have never been beaten or crucified. I've never had to bear the weight of the sins of the whole world...including my own.
I've never had my Heavenly Father turn away from me because of those sins cast on a perfect being. I've never had to suffer the anguish of the cross.
I guess not being treated right...or being misunderstood or talked about...is something that I can handle...with God's Grace.