WALKING THROUGH THE VALLEY

What a lovely day it is today! The temperature is close to perfect! Tomorrow is camping night with a family reunion in the afternoon. My husband and stepson are already there, my children are with their father for the weekend and it is just me at home with the dogs and the cat.



Sometimes solitude is nice. I haven't had much of it...it is hard to do when you have five children and three step children!



Quiet can be nice as well. However, if you're not used to it, it can be a rather uncomfortable thing.



Years ago, when my children's father left me, I had to start taking the children to his apartment. I had been a stay at home, homeschooling mom and almost always had a child...or five...with me at all times. Suddenly, not only was I alone as a newly single mom, but I was faced with "being" alone. I remember dropping the kids off at his home and then struggling for an idea of what to do with my time. The idea of going to a bookstore seemed heavenly to me so off I went. I walked in, past the history section, self help section, psychology section, fiction section....past all the books that most adults would be interested in reading and walked back to where I was USED to going!! The children's section. I pulled up one of those chairs that when you sit in it, your knees are right under your chin and you can't get your legs to fit under the table. I looked around...without my kids...and cried.



That's how it went for quite a long time. (well, I didn't go back to the bookstore for a while...)



I had to find my "place." I had never ever even been in my home ALONE before. I certainly wasn't afraid to be there by myself but the whole idea of being ALONE scared me to death.



I noticed that when I was uncomfortable or nervous about something, I'd play with my wedding ring on my left hand. Of course, it was gone. My marriage, my security, was gone. Even my children were TEMPORARILY gone. I was really ALONE.



I had to learn to reach out to people, let people reach out to me (hard for me to do...accepting help from anyone...) and especially realize that my STRENGTH came from the Lord. I had to reach out to Him and let Him reach out to me.



THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED THAT I WAS NEVER ALONE!!!!



I was having to remake my life...putting Christ as the HEAD...where He should have been all along. I realized that suddenly, I could really truly have a Christian home for once. I WAS MAKING THE DECISIONS AND I WAS GOING TO HAVE GOD BE THE CENTER OF MY HOME.



THIS IS NOT AT ALL ENCOURAGING DIVORCE....NOT AT ALL!!! NOT AT ALL!!! THE BIBLE IS CLEAR REGARDING DIVORCE. I'm just saying that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Don't let anyone force you to believe the lie that your life is over or ruined. Our God is an Awesome God! He alone knows what is best for you and He will take care of you.



There were so many things that I learned as a single mother that I would never have learned before...or maybe He has tried to teach me but I wasn't open to learning until then.



There were so many financial miracles that He performed in our hour of need...or hours of need... that I wouldn't have seen or appreciated when I was financially "well off." While I don't ever want to go through that time of my life, I am so happy to know what I now know.



There was a song witten by the late Dottie Rambo that I learned when I was a little girl that I have always loved that seems to sum it up nicely...much better than I could!



"Thank you for the valley I walked through today.

The darker the valley, the more I learned to pray.

Thank you for every lonely night...

I prayed til I knew everything was alright..

And I thank you for the valleyI walked through today!"